Life — September 13, 1906 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

285 ct to keep its population down without them ? Is it the intention to make the island an asylum for auto- mobiphobes? That would presently mean a summer popula- tion of about the density of Cottage City for the whole island of Mt. Desert. An island that can exclude automobiles runs an inevitable risk of being exclusive enough to gain an appalling popularity. Newport was exclusive. Look at it! And yet Newport never attained to such a pitch of wilful privacy as to exclude motor-cars. BOUT himself the wise man reveals only what everybody knows. “wes Bob’s training as a football guard of any advantage to him?” 7 “Oh, yes. He’s a guard now on the Brooklyn Bridge cars.” Clothes Make the Man TH Briton walked down Broadway with his American friend and refused to be surprised at anything he saw. Even the tall buildings failed to make their customary effect. “I say, I'm dreadfully disappointed, don’t you know. I had heard so much in London about your skyscrapers and all that sort of thing. Why, those buildings don’t come anywhere near the sky.” ‘The American temporized. “We'll go in here,” he said, ‘‘and have a cocktail—our national drink. You'll see things differently after we come out.” They had two and then came out. ‘Well, how did you like the national drink?” asked the American. ‘‘Tastes like iced hair-oil,” was the reply. The American began to despair of being able to ruffle the Englishman’s calm. They had by this time reached Madison Square, and as a last attempt the Flatiron Building was pointed out to the imperturbable visitor. “Where's the rest of it?”? he asked, surveying the lean pile through his monocle. The American groaned. At that critical moment a stranger approached them confidentially and, coming close to the Englishman, said in a low voice: *‘Old clothes, sir.” Vnleeneely astonished the Briton stuttered: ‘‘Er—yes, they are, old chap; but really, I expect to have some new ones soon.” As the buyer of old clothes withdrew, the Londoner continued to gaze after him in the greatest amazement. ‘Really, I must say,” he remarked at last, ‘‘your buildings and all that sort of thing don’t surprise me at all, but the keen observation of your citizens is some- thing astounding—perfectly astounding, really. No wonder they get on.” Whereat the American smiled, and felt glad that he had not yet introduced Lord Fitzendale at the Swagger Club. L. Liebling. Mt. Desert’s Peril A HORRID story of oppression comes from Mt. Desert, where the automobiles want leave to use the highways, and the horse-driving majority won't give it. The horse-people say the roads are too narrow and the adjoining acclivities too precipitous for automobiles to use the roads without danger to the horse “4 1 . 4 Judge: EWA 3 S p BY ME AS ‘OMMON SCO! inst automobiles? What good is the palladium of our li ae lea ic hla! So an aha a Gaffer: 4 “COMMON” SCOLD, QUOTH THEE. ‘TIS PLAIN YOUR WoRSHIP liberties if autos cannot run on Mt. Desert? And how does HATH NETER SAMPLED THE QUALITY OF HER TALK! comicbooks.com