Life — September 13, 1906 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUR ee $ TE: (@NTEMPORA! FALSE LOGIC Attorney-General Moody, discussing a legal point, said: “That is striking but false logic. It reminds me of a con- versation I once heard at the seashore. i r uit was running on thin, pale white beach toward the cool water when‘ a fricnd, seizing him by the arm What! Are you going i he just after a heavy lunch? Why, you will be drowned. “*Oh, no; not at all,’ replied the other, “Tate nothing ‘ adel phia Bulletin. Hotel Vendome, Boston ‘The ideal hotel of America for permanent and transient | guests. INSIDE INFORMATION of our goo farmers was telling on the streets yesterday nversation he chanced to hear between a young boy in his La Christian Scientist. It appears the Scientist cam IL boy sitting under an ay pain. My little man," he said, “wha “1 ate some gecen apples.” moaned the t . how T “You don’t ache," answered the follower of Mes. Eddy: s only think so.” ‘The boy looked up in yent at a statement, and then replied in pled up with most positive manner sall right; you may think so, but ['ve got inside informa: "Kingfisher (Ok.) Star Tue Sout rox Hosprtatity: The Maoor, Asheville, North is the best inn South — Booklet QUITE LIKELY Prkex: It would be interesting to trace the origin of some remarks of the day. For instance, 1 wonder | who originated the expression, “It never Wistaan: Noah, very peobably.—Philedelphia Ledger ‘of the com ut it pours AT THE PICNIC ‘Tosney: Oh, mal Here's a litthe green snake! Mamta: Keep away from it, dear, It may be just as dan gerous as a ripe one.—Buflale Commercial. Hey, there! It is forb “Do not be afraid, my good man. We have come here to p to walk on the railway tracks." escape the automobiles." =I! Mondo Umoristico: Milk That Is Wholesome Since the scientific handling and preservation of milk, origi- nated by Gail Borden in the early *s0"s, the use of Eagke Brand Condensed Milk has become gencral; but for those purposes where an unsweetened milk is preferred, Borden's Peerless Brand Evaporated-Cream fills every requirement STRICTLY, OFFICIAL In one of the lesser Indian cities the clerk in charge of the official documents is a Hindu, with a pecutiar knowledge of English As rats died much damage to his papers, he obtained permission tokcep two cats, the larger of them receiving rather better rations. A few weeks later the head office at Calcutta received this “Lhave the honor to inform you that the senioe cat is | absent without leave. What shall Ido?” To this problem there was vouchsafed no answer. After iting a f In te absentee cat. 1 propose t and in the meantime to take into Government service a proba: wer cat on full rations.” —Tit-Bits few days, the Hindu sent ote the junior cat Heat axp Rest; New Waveety Horrt axp Ban House, Hor Sraincs, AkANsas. TLtesteaten Booxtrr SAVING CLERICAL WORK A recreant brother of the A. M.E. Church ina little Southern n has been excommunicated repeatedly from the cor ion, but every a revival service was held he juvinated,” as Aunt C: * nd asked On one oceasina Peter M Iressing the *Brudder Baker keeps er fallin’ from grace an’ er habin’ his name tuck off ob de book, an’ den he comes back ergin; Bruder ‘Techstone, I moves dat we buy cr slate tee put Brudder Baker's name on ter keep from er mutilatin’ dee records ob de church.” RECORD RYE WHISKEY Moone & SixNOTE RECORD RYE, WHISKEY. CS If You Never Wore Garters Mart toalay, Getapalrot Brighton Flat Socta'or catch ths clothing. They mie GARTERS tely pare alk wel (aot if the latest des, Gra or ectt by mail postyaide ‘PIONEER SUSPENDER CO..718 Market St., Philad’a’ | em 0 terth or sharp projections to tear the Maters of Pioneer Make the best cocktail. A delightfat aromatic for all wine,spiritand soda Veverages. .\ tablespoontal in an ounce Of sherry or sweetened water after meala afforda relief and aidedigestion, BITTERS (important to see that it is Abbot's. as —Woman's Home Companion. a Heeeeeesccscsseccceseeseseese® I? ndonderty LITHIA WATER “ Birst A he ner. Londonderry, of its purity and great absorbent prope only a delicious beverage by itself, but the most ( perfect diluent forall wines and liquors. Iten- hances their deliciousness and counteracts harm from their use, * Londonderry " is incomparableas b: for all mixed drinks," imparting tothe 4 distinctive taste and character. Our booklet entitled, CHEERS": fe Tether lteraty cheering concoctions, both temperance and other wise, will be mailed {ree to any address on request. JONES It tells how to make all kinds of delicious drinks will cause you tobe the envy of your friends and “cc in for you the reputation of being an ideal cnter-| ——a tainer, Write for it to-day. AR Londonderry Lithia Water is) served atall fit.clavs hotels eed Fi Clubs, apd fe cold by woo Fitke Sparkling comes 1 plotsand eplites the Sai! in? Masta Fallon botties. a LONDONDERRY LITHIA SPRING WATER C0. Vv 47 Mes Feete te fre car ® comicbooks.com