Life — September 6, 1906 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AvT S¢15SoR5 OCS MEMORIES I remember, I remember My magenta wool delaine, My salmon toglioni, too (Twas lined with satin jea My lovely light blue empress cloth, Picked out with bands of dor I wore the night Joe came to call, And told me of his love —Carelyn Wells, in Good Housekeeping. Oh, Carolyn, fair Carolyn, You do surprise me so! Now, something of this love affair I'd greatly like to know. If Joe made love to you one night, Down ‘mid the sands and shells, Just please to tell me, Carolyn, Why is your name now Wells? —Edwin A. Oliver, in Yonkers Statseman Oh, Oliver, dear Oliver, Why should you worry so? Let Carolyn a sister be To Jim and John and Joe And, Oliver, you shoulda’t chaff About an unchanged name; For, oh, the fault may all be yours— And that would be a shame —Clevdand Plain Dealer. OLD SLEUTH’S READINESS A Georgian was talking about the late Colonel H. K. Shakel ford, author of the well-known "Old Sleuth” series of detective stoei “Colonel Shakelford,” the Georgian said, “could write an *OM Sleuth’ story in aday. He had a very ready and resourceful miod. He embodied in himself, indeed, some of Old Sleuth’s most admirable qualities Here is an instance of his readiness: “Visiting a Western city some years ago, Colonel Shakelford dined with some boyhood friends, and did pot set off for his hotel till midaight “As he passed through a dark and desolate street, a footpad suddenly stepped out from behind a tree, and, with a sharp “Throw up your hands!* leveled a revolver at Colonel Shakel fords head “But the author of ‘Old Sleuth * was nc He frowned, uttered an angry oath, and said: “What are you doing on Elm Avenue, confound you? Go back where you belong. Tam working this street, and 1 want you to understand I'll have no interference.""—A merican Spec tater the least disturbed. CLEAR ENOUGH TO HER ew Carnegie once dé livered a little homily to of in Washington, wherein be endeavored to demon strate that the judgment of men is apt to be warped by sentiment and feeling “In Scotland,” asserted Mr. Carnegie, “the people abomi nated hymns, simply because the Episcopalians used them. Th Presbyterians sang only the Psalms of David. ‘The Episcopalians used stained glass in their church windows, and for that reacon the Scotch looked upon stained glass as something of unholy AVE. NvLL nf tt inuing, Mr. Carnegie told a story of a Presbyterian minis: ter who had been bold enough to introduce this hated innovation He was showing it in triumph to one of his parishioners, and asked bee how she liked it “Ay. it is handsome,” said she, sadly, “but I prefer the gless jist as God made it!" —Harper's Weekly. BOOK BINDING. A Parser, visiting London for the first time, dived one night with the Bishop, who tried to coavert him, Now, the Parsees are sun worshippers, and it did not occur to the Bishop when be took up his line of argument that the London winter season is ove long, cold, wet fog, and that the sun never shows himself. Said the Bishop: “Here you are, my friend, a man of culture, widely traveled, gencrous, brave, wise, and yet you worship the sun. How can you do it? I can’t understand how any sensible person should worship a created object, such as the sun.” “Ah, but you should see it once,” cried the Parsee, warmly. ™ You have no idea what a splendid thing iti: The Argonaut. ARROYA AL ON LITERATURE Thave read a Western novel in a ten-cent magazine, And 1 guess there's lots in Western life that T ain't ever seen, Jt was all about a cowboy, whose gun was set with pearl, And who loved a downright stunain’ type of bronco-bustia’ gi I know the book is Western ‘cause it speaks of chaps and spun, And, whea the men are talkin’, the word damn oft occurs And there's frequeat bloodshed in it, and the hero kills the most And the villain’s full of bullets when he yields his orn’ty ghow ow I've punched for many outfits, clear from And I never seen such doin’s as this writer tells «0 fine; Tut I guess truth can’t be looked for, when the magazines, they say. Has theie Western fiction ground out down in Hackensack N J Denver Republican BETTING ON THE SPEECH “hold in my hand," said Senator Stone, in the course of 8 eloquent address to the Senate. “ Knew he'd say that sooner of later."” commented one of the experienced students of legislation in tbe press gallery. “Now in a minute he'll say *Within the range of my voice.” Watch h exas to the hee. Within the range of my voice."* Senator Stone began his next sentence. “ Fine!" said the student in the press gallery. “I desire to state.” “I desire to state," said Senator Stone, a minute later. By this time the press gallery was in convulsions. “Watch for "In the last analy hhispered one of them. A minute later “In the last analysis" came. Bets were oBered and taken as to whether Mr. Stone's next paragraph would coo. tain But on the other hand" or “If it were not for the fac.” ‘The man who bet on the latter won, but two sentences terther oa came,“ But on the other hand.""—New York Times. Next comes Every man likes a different kind of story, and I have alway, got more solid comfort out of Irish stories than out of any ether class. L like the story of the baggage master who was called upos to decide whether a tortoise that was being taken home by traveler could be checked free or came under the head of animal that had to pay a small additional fee, as dogs did. He looked at the strange creature, the like of which he had never seen eke. and brought all his past experience to bear on the case. Toe only rule he bad to go by was the one that said Gogs must jay for much was left to the common sense of the baggage men, a4 he gave his decision: “Oi niver had t’ decoide on wan av th> things before, but dogs pays extry, but does it come in th’ cassis: cation of dogs Oi dunno."" He called the station maste was alsoan Irishman. The station master looked at the tortoise. © "Tis not a dog,"” he said, promptly. Dogs is dogs, and aasis dogs and squirrels in cages is dogs, but that there animal is 23 insect and goes free." Success. A LESSON “You didn’t say “Thank you' to the man who gave yoo bis seat in the street car.” “1 once stopped to say thank you, and by the time I had é20® s0 I found that another woman bad the seat.”"—Washingtos No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed emdaye The illustrations in Lire ere copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. Postage to foreign countries in the Lire is published every Thursday, 85.00 a year in advance. . Back numbers, after three months al Union, $1.04 a year extra. Single current copies, 10 © date of publication, 25 cents. re is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The International News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C.. Eagland, Acests. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address: Th Egyptian Cigarette of Quality ‘Wae oniiy whaskey thet proces a complete, quexankeed analysis on each kevery, bettle- Seeback label! AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY SURBRUG-Importer ~@ 20TH CENTURY LIMITED 264 “18-HOUR TRAIN TO CHICAGO. New. York Central and Lake Shore. comicbooks.com