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Life, 1906-08-02 · page 37 of 40

Life — August 2, 1906 — page 37: what you’re looking at

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Life — August 2, 1906 — page 37: Life, 1906-08-02

What you’re looking at

This page contains a short story titled "The Bitter in the Sweet," not a political cartoon. The narrative depicts a young woman named Gertrude caught in a legal predicament—fined $50 by a judge for an unspecified offense (likely traffic or motor-vehicle related, given references to "the big machine"). A man named Dick arranges a private meeting with the judge, after which he pays the fine and proposes marriage. The constable and judge react with resigned acceptance, predicting her parents will disapprove despite the couple's legal adulthood. **The satire**: The story mocks early 20th-century social attitudes about automobiles, courtship, and parental authority. The "bitter" is legal trouble and social scandal; the "sweet" is romance. The judges and constables' cynical acceptance suggests such hasty marriages were common enough to be unremarkable, while parental opposition remained inevitable. The page is primarily advertisements (bitters, soap, foot-ease) surrounding the story.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PE*E BOONEKAMP Bitters The Best Bitter Liqueur Good times depend upon good temper, which depends on good health and digestion. Nothing like a small glass of Under- berg Bitters. Enjoyable as a cock- tail and better for you. 6,000,000 bottles im- ported to the United States {tall Hotels, Clubs and Restaurants, or by the bottle at Wine Merchants and Grocers. BOTTLED ONLY BY . H. UNDERBERG ALBRECHT Rheinberg, Germany since 1846 LUYTIES BROTHERS General Agents NEW YORK (JENNER & COMPANY Undivided Estates Exclusively 55 BROADWAY, NEW YORK | “UNDIVIDED ESTATES undivided estate interests. Includin Cable Address 4 Jennloan” iances upen the security of such Interests upon fe terms and at lexal Interest cilities for handling such proposals are adequate tor requirement. stand the bottle upside down or lay it on its side: Or shake it up, or shake it down. It stays the same inside. No Sediment. ALE The justice picked up a paper-cutter and tapped it idly on the desk. He was plainly nervous. This young woman, with her daring eyes and her handsome face, disconcerted him. “Waal,” he said at last, “we've got to make an example. We can’t afford ter let you off. I'll have ter fine yer fifty dollars this time.” Gertrude looked dismayed. “But I haven't got it,” she exclaimed. “] fave,” said Dick. “Judge, will you do me a favor? Will you leave this young lady and myself alone. for five minutes? You can lock us in if you want to.” “It’s a queer thing ter do, but I’m willin’ ter accommodate you.” It was more than five—it was ten—when Holton opened the door. The justice, the con- | stable and Bobbie were waiting outside. As a matter of fact Bob had been explaining to them the intricacies of the big machine—and they came in reluctantly. “Judge,” said Holton, “here's that fifty- dollar fine.” He put down a fifty-dollar bill. me another favor. Will you throw in a marriage license?” “What do you mean?” “I want you to marry us.”” “You mean it?” “We both do. That’s what this young lady jtode after me for. You wouldn't have me get |away now, would you? We are both of age, know our own minds, and it’s all right.” Bobbie could scarcely repress himself. “Hurray!” he exclaimed, There was another pause. with his paper-cutter again. “Waal,” he said, “‘if you’re both willin’ Iam. The justice fooled “]]] But ll have ter charge you a couple of dollars |] extra.” ee * Ten minutes later, as the big machine moved off down the road, he turned reflectively to the constable, who had pulled out a small cake of plug tobacco and was whittling a piece off with his knife. “T'll be willing ter bet anything,” he said, “that when them folks get back home and the old people hear they’re tied up, they'll catch the devil, even if they did seem to know what they was about.” The constable paused in his task. “Waal,” he said, “ef I was tied up ter a handsome . critter like that—one who can run one of them hell wagons as slick as she can—I wouldn’t care much. I reckon I'd be willin’ ter face ther devil himself at eny minute of the day or night.” ALLENS FOOT-EASE A Certain Cure for Tired, Hot, Aching Fe DO NOT ACCEPT A SUBSTITUTE. ‘This slgnatare For FREE Trial Package Address, ALLEN S. OLMSTED, on every box. Leroy, N. Y. “And say, Judge, I want to ask you if you'll do | Pead's Eavract Utst Copyright The bitter in the sweet of mid- summer pleasuring is in the irritat- ing effect on tender skins of sun and gale. Pond’s Extract Soap not only -allays ‘irritation, heals, soothes, stimulates, clears and beautifies— but does much to pre- serve the health and smoothness and beauty of the complexion. It is the new scientific combina- tion of Pond’s Extract, the standard of strength and purity, and the finest soap product of the Armour laboratories. Do not accept any substitute for Pond's Extract Soap. Be on your guard especially against so-called ‘‘ witch- hazel’? soaps, artificially colored green. Pond’s Extract Soap is distinguished by the natural color of the stock it is made from—pure white. The name is on both the cake and the container. If your Druggist does not carry Pond’s Extract Soap, send us his name and 25c and we will mail you a full-sized cake. Armour & Company Sole Licensee from Pond's Extract Company Chicago New York London Paris comicbooks.com