Life — July 26, 1906 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aS SS ae Sexaror CLay tells of a negro who was ckected a justice of the in Georgia during reconstruction times. His first case was one where the defendant asked for a trial by jury. The negro justice presided with great dignity while the witnesses were examined and the lawyers summed up. hen everybody waited for him to charge the jury. He did not know what to do. Finally a friendly lawyer leaned over the bench and said: “Charge the jury! this is the time to charge the jury.” The justice arose and looked at the jury. “Gentlemen ob de ‘dis yer’s a mighty small case an I'll only charge you-all a dollar an’ a half apicce.""—Exchange. parodies on Mr. Shakespeare's plays with a ghost who does a song and And springs a moldy gag or two while all the chorus chants, let, on bebolding him, lifts up a lively cog that you, father dear, or jast a London fog?” the canvas lea Now, don't you Lear When old King Lear goes maundering a His geaceless daughter winks and says And Kent exclaims when through the storm he hears his monarch shout “It’s pretty windy, ain’t it, King, to take these whiskers BECAME DESPERATE It was Friday. A large, muscular Irishman svuntered into Diamond Street restaurant and eagerly scanned the meng ‘The waitress stood by patiently awaiting the order. appearance of the man and the manner in which he per long list of good things on the bill of fare, the girl naturally expected an order for a full-sized meal. “Ah.” quoth the Irishman, as his eyes fell upon corned beef and cabbage.“ Begorra, thot's a dish fit for a king.” But, alas! it was Fri “Give me some of the w' “Very sorry, sir, but waitress. “Well, make it bluefish.” just served the last order to a man across the table, “How about a nice piece of shad ?” said the Irishman, smack. ing his lips “That must be an error on the menu, because we have none,” said the waitress. ‘The customer hurriedly cast his eye along the mera but finally threw it down in dismay. His appetite grew fish,” he said. 's all out," politely answered the out _———— Sind when bis subjects hail the king the old man says, complaining ‘Away with you! How dare you, knave, to hail when I When dark Othello from the wars comes double-shuflling back Jago says: “I'm scared of him because he looks so black.” And Desdemona’s stifled while that villain calmly smokes, Remarking philo: yy the while: “I hope she chokes!” when Othello stabs himself, Iago, with a roar, outs out: "There's always room where you are bound for just one Moor!" When Of show man punc Macbeth beholds th bling pitch, And asks them with a grin of glee: Now tell me wrich is witch?” 1 crones dance round their bub- ‘They're turning crowds away, they say, and down by Avon's the bard is turning, too—he’s turning in his grave. more keen cach minute. “Well, give me a big, juicy steak," he said in asters tone. “Heaven knows I asked for fish.""—Pittsburg Sus. rite, Gitorer, the noted French actress, at a diterr ‘ew York, had been complimented rather awkwardly Your intention was not bad,” said the actress, gon humoredly, in her quaint English. “But you were awk ward, 1 will admit that So awkward you were that Tam reminded of a happes ing.a Parisian happening. Listen. This is it “A Parisian gave a dinner. All the world was ther. Jewels glittered on white throats. Orders and ribbons crossed white shirt bosoms. In a word, elegance compkte. “And after dinner, when the ladies had gone upstairs, he men, over their coffce and cigars and liquors, talked, as mez will, of love And all of a sudden the host cries in a loud voice: Twilltell you, gentlemen, this is the tr the dainty Japanese girl. 1 have kissed the South Sea Island maiden. Ihave kissed the slim Indian beauty. And te girls of England, of Germany,even of America, [have kissed, but it is most true that to kiss my wie is best of all,” “Then a young man cries across the table: Montreal Star. TIE NEW JERSEY CONCEPTION OF PANDORA AND HER BOX SURE ENOUGH — Casstpy: I see some wise scholard is claim Eve wuz Chinces Casey: Tut! tut! man, shure they mu they evicted ?—Philadelphia Ledger. thot Adam an’ Ir 1 not necessary that a lawyer should be eloquent to win verdicts, but he must have the tact which turns an apparent defeat to his own advantage. One of the most successful of verdict winners was Sir James Scarktt. His skill in turning a failure into a success. was wonderful. Ina breach-of-promise case the defendant, Scarlett's client, was alleged to have been cajoled into an engagement by the plaintiffs mother. She w witness in behalf of her daughter, and completely baffled lett, who cross-examined her. But in his argument he exhibited QuesTION for debating societies: When a life insurance agent his tact by this happy st You saw, gentle Jes a book canvasser, will the canvasser get his life insured, “men of the jury, that I was but a child in her hands. What must he sell a book ?—Somerville Journal my client have been ?”—The Argona a’ been Irish. Wuzn't Tox: What are you going to do with that mouse? Dick: Use it fer bait bait? 's, I'm going for catfish."—New York Mail. oke of advoca oat “By heaven, sir, you are right there! '"—New Voi Tribune. DIDN'T REQUIRE ANY COURAGE “He bas a great reputation for bravery, hasn't he “T've never heard so." ut I thought he called somebody a liar.” Dh, that was only a United States senator."”—Cl Plain Dealer. UNRELENTING DISAPPROVAL dmit that our friend has the courage of his ¢= said one statesman. “In the case of such opinions as "t courage—it's foolhardiness.""—Washington Star * answered the other, Lire, is published every Thursday. $5.00 a year in advance ee to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year extra. Single current copies, 10 ccnts. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 ¢ 17x is for sale by all Newsdealers in, Gr Chancery Lane, London, E. C.. En; Britain. Th AGENTS. Soternational News Company, Bream’s ns in Lire are copyriglited, and are not to be reproduced. be sent by subscribers of any change of address We ondy whiskey, that proces a complete, quarankeed analysis on each wevery, battle- See back label! 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