Life — June 28, 1906 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘When Spring Goes Maying ‘AS ever known a stranger thing? But yesterday I met with Spring— The maiden, madcap Spring herself— ‘Through blossomed meadows straying “Now whither go you, sweet ?”” quoth I, both low and high, Quoth I, “But yours is every rose!”” Quoth she, “A fairer one than grows In all my gardens of the world Is this I hasten after.” Quoth T, “Wilt bear it back to me?” “To you and many a one,” quoth she, And went her way with laughter. And lo! at twilight to my door Came Spring, and in her lap she bore A little, winged tricksy lad With fresh plucked roses playing. pring, ‘tis he!" I cried to her. at else did you expect, Fair Sir,” Quoth she, “when Spring gocs Maying?” Theodosia Garrison. you : Why, it wuz like dis mum: dey wanted to cut me salary from one hundred thousand a year to seventy and I wouldn't stand fer it. LAWYER (to principal witness): Was the lady in question a blonde or brunette ? Wirxess : To what year do you refer ? SLETPESE = AND THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST R. TINKERTON was a quiet, modest person who tried his best to do his duty by his fellow man—who toiled hard, who devoted himself to a considerable family, and who was loved by his wife perhaps as much for the trials with which he was afflicted as for his innate virtues. One day he said to Mrs. Tink- erton: “My dear, in spite of every effort the world seems to be arrayed against me. I do not wish to become a pessi- mist, I prefer not to be a ¢ crank, I recognize that it is one’s duty to be cheerful under the most harrowing circumstances, and yet my sense of just is oftentimes troubled by so many inconsistencies which so directly affect us. For example, I am continually worried about my business; this is due to the fact that, being a small dealer, I have been gradually pushed closer to the wall by a large syndicate, and I realize that in the course of time I shall have to seck some other means to make a living. Take also the matter of our expenses; the iceman has notified me that hereafter the price of ice will be nearly double t I have been paying him. You yourself realize how meat has advanced. As for coal, first there was a threatened strike by means of which the dealer was enabled to advance the price fifty cents a ton, but when the strike was declared off it did not go back to its original level, it was only reduced twenty- five cents a ton—one other method by which 4 large corporation robs a citizen like me, whose sole object in life is to do his duty by his State and his family. “Even our doctor has not been above this extortion. He comes twice as often as is necessary, he has performed already two operations on our children which we know now to have been superfluous, and so it goes on through a long list of petty injus Do you consider me to be wrong? Is my vision becoming poor, warped?” To this Mrs. Tinkerton replied: “No, my dear, I can understand your fcclings exactly. Your masculine isind, logical in its workings, naturally revolts against the entire scheme from which we are both made to suffer. There seems to be possibly some danger that you may lean too far in the wrong direction and become too much of a pessimist. Do not permit yourself to do this. Keep your faith, remember that there is a Provi- dence that watches over us all and if at times the way seems dark, do not forget that love reigns always supreme. What you need is a little change; I have arranged to take the children on a little outing to-morrow—an excursion which has been gotten up by some friends, and you must join us. I have no doubt that it will do you a vast deal of good, and a trip on the steamer will give you a breat: of salt air that will revive your spirits.” Mr. Tinkerton did as suggested, for he was always amenable to her influence, and after he and his wife and their four children had returned from their pleasure trip he fell immediately asleep ‘and throughout the night was lured by pleasant dreams. The next morning he awakened early, greatly refreshed and revivified by his rest. In accordance with his usual habit, he prepared to take his bath. As he stepped toward the bathroom he was suddenly aroused from his morning drowsiness by an unusual circumstance: he discovered that leading off from his bathroom toward the right there was a new bathroom which he never remem- bered to have seen there before. The floor and the sides of this room wv inlaid with immaculate tiles of a dull old- gold hue that seemed to be peculiarly soothing to irit. The bathtub itself vas a delightful affair and all the equip- ment was in the very best manner. Mr. ‘Tinkerton started back in amazementand thereupon called his wife precipitately. “Look here, my dear,” he said, “how: can you account for this? Here during the night has come to us a new bath- room, something we have needed for years,something we have longed for and never hoped to have, and yet Ike magic here it is.” Mrs. Tinkerton was as much amazed as her husband, but having been more used to receive things than he, she took it much more philosophically: “Let us not be too curious about how it came. It is here. Let us enjoy it After all, it’s all in one’s mind.” After Mr. Tinkerton had taken his comicbooks.com