Life — June 7, 1906 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Genuine Produa NSTEAD of the familiar “Distinguished Per sons Whom I Have Met,” a writer in the Grand Magazine gives us “Irish Servants Whom I Have Had.” Truth compels the statement that the servants are much more enlivening than the big bugs are. ‘There, for example, was the one called Anas- tasia, though that was a freak of baptism which was extremely misleading. “From her first appearance,” says the chron- icler, Anastasia seemed oppressed by our speech and manner of add “Ye speak that Englified!” she informed me within five minutes of her arrival, ‘I dunno what in the name of God ye're sayin’ to me!’ She put out her tongue at me in a friendly fashion, and, as if nothing else mattered in the world, began pounding upstairs with her yellow tin box. she went through the duties of the day she || herself instructions in a mumbling under- tone, whether she was alone or standing near some person who could hear every syllable she said. ‘The bell rang, and she would hurry through the hall muttering, ‘Some ould divvle at the door!’ My mother called her and she would run past me, whispering distinctly, ‘There’s the mistress screechin’ for me now.” f “The fairies played a prominent part in her belief. It was lucky to spill milk, she told me, when I once dropped a jugful. “Them little people will be pleased with the sup ye’re lavin’ them,’ she added. “The good folk, she told me, were very dainty in their habits, and would not touch anything t was soiled or dirty. ‘Me own little nephew in the County Tipperary, a lovely young b’y of three weeks old, was pinin’ away,’ she said, ‘an’ the poor mother was disthracted to know what a woman that ’ she told me sister the fairies was takin’ the child. “I 1do?” said me si “eeSmear him with dirt,” s woman, “for whatever's anyway dirty the fairies'll lave after ’em “*Me sister done that, an’ the young child recovered, for when they seen the dirt the fairies let him be ely amused by a story of an old Irish um for self-indulgence in the liquid lately come to the house of a cd couple to ‘care,’ as they call it, their first child. “One evening, after dinner, the young parents stole upstairs to see their precious in its cot. They discovered the old woman nodding over the , with the baby dropping from her knees toward the grate. The mother uttered a slight exclamation of alarm, which roused the nurse immediately to a mechanical rocking of the child. ““T tiddle-iddlety, tiddle tiddle dum! Ain’t ye a beautiful couple—ye're like boy an’ gurl!’ “But, nurse,’ suggested the young mother timidly, ‘wasn’t baby rather near the fire?” “The old woman closed her eye with a saga- cious wink and exclaimed: ““God bless yer innycence, isn’t it aisy seen ‘tis your first child! Don’t you know, ma’am, that heat swells ’em out big?’” RECORD RYE WHISKEY “Up they go.” MILLER’S MARK HANGS HIGH MILLER BREWING GO. MILWAUKEE.U.S.A. comicbooks.com