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Life, 1906-06-07 · page 17 of 42

Life — June 7, 1906 — page 17: what you’re looking at

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Life — June 7, 1906 — page 17: Life, 1906-06-07

What you’re looking at

This satirical story mocks upper-middle-class domestic anxiety. A couple hires an excellent professional cook, but her rich food makes Mrs. Witherby chronically ill with indigestion. Mr. Witherby escapes to eat simple toast downtown, infuriating his wife, who feels trapped eating elaborate meals she cannot refuse without insulting the cook's artistry. The absurdist resolution: Witherby solves the problem by lying to the cook, claiming they're leaving for Europe at King Edward's invitation, paying her a month's severance to depart. The satire targets: marital dysfunction, class-conscious anxiety about servants, hypochondria, and the era's etiquette-bound inability to simply dismiss an employee honestly. The joke is that a fabricated royal connection succeeds where honesty would fail—mocking both social pretension and cowardice. The page's second item briefly notes translator Edwin Hopkins discussing Maxim Gorky's marital complications in Russia.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

of it is that we can’t stop her. She’s a professional cook. She lov It's an art with her, and when she tums out something particularly rich and indigesti- ble and we don’t eat it, she feels—well, imagine how an artist feels whose mas- terpiece is unappreciated.” “But we can’t go on this way. I shall die if we do. I can gradually feel myself getting a hopeless and incurable case of The next day Witherby did not come home to dinner. At nine o'clock he entered softly. Mrs. Witherby was lying ‘on the sofa, with a glass of hot soda and a box of pepsin tablets by her side. “What kept you?’ she demanded fretfully “Darling, forgive me, but I couldn’t help it. You know my health is import- ant. I stayed down-town and got a cup of tea and some dry toast.”” “You cruel, heartless thing. And left me tostay homeandeat that dinner, Oh!” Mrs. Witherby groaned. “How [am suffering! Puree of Jack- son soup, chicken livers en brochette, pigeon pie, cucumber salad, ice cream. Oh, oh!” “Porgive me, dearest! Next time you shall take tea with me.” Mrs. Witherby rose up with what re- maining strength she had. “T've stood it as long as I can!” she exclaimed. ‘Anything is better than this. Life for me now is one long gastronomical ee THE JUNE HARVEST OF WISDOM horror. Get rid of her, can’t you? You hired her.” “But what shall I say?” replied Witherby. “She is no ordinary woman! I can’t insult her. Think of the con- tempt she would have for me if I should weren’t used to such things. what are we going to do? We must have some one. And you admit you never have had to do a single thing since she came.” “No,” muttered Mrs. Witherby, “I haven’t—nothing but eat and> suffer. You!” she cried, “you have some relief. You can get your hincheons down-town But for me, I cannot get aw: can’t resist, either. Besides, our e have doubled, to say nothing of what you ay her. Look at these bills !”” Witherby snatched up the bundle she gave him, and looked them over. He tumed deathly pale. “Good heavens!” he exclaimed, “why we'll be bankrupt. And I’m paying her $4o.a month in the bargain.” “Horrible!” “Never mind, You go to bed, send for the doctor and leave the rest to me.” ‘The next morming he came up to Mrs. Witherby’s bedside with a cup of tea and some half-bumed toast. That lady had overslept herself. “What does this, mean?” she ex- claimed. “Tt means that at last we are alone. I prepared this for you myself.” “How did you get rid of her?” we “T told her we were leaving for Europe on to-morrow moming’s steamer, by special invitation of King Edward, and gave her her month’s pay in advance.” “Thank God!” Witherby kissed his wife’s pale face. “Yes,” he said, “thank God! And now, my dear, we'll camp out by our- selves for a few weeks until health and strength come back to both of us.” Tom Masson. Gorky DWIN HOPKINS, translator of some of Sorky’s plays, says that Gorky’s first wife is now married to some onc else, and that though the Russian Synod refused him a divorce from her, his children by his present wife—if he had any—would be legitimate in Russia. If that is so, he is sufficiently married to her, and our moralists have not been warranted in being so fussy about her. “YES, THE CHILDREN ARE DELIGHTED WITH THAT FIVE-DOLLAR BILL 1 GOT THEM AS A BEDQUILT."” comicbooks.com