Life, 1906-06-07 · page 13 of 42
Life — June 7, 1906 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical poem by R. K. Munkittrick mocks a movement to reform English spelling and pronunciation. The cartoon shows a man (likely representing reformers or Andrew Carnegie, mentioned in the text) attacking traditional spelling conventions with weapons labeled "PHONETIC SEALS." The satire targets philologists advocating phonetic spelling reform—removing silent letters from words like "pneumonia" and standardizing pronunciation. The poem humorously warns that such changes would devastate English language traditions and create chaos. The small silhouette illustration at bottom depicts a "Brooklyn Handicap for Two-Year-Olds"—an unrelated joke about wealthy people and children, typical of Life's miscellaneous humor sections. The piece reflects early 20th-century conservative resistance to linguistic modernization efforts.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIF BE Philologists Declare War {Andrew Carnegie’s gift furnishes new impetus to movement toward making the language approach ultimate phonetic consistency. Many scholars take part incrusade New York Herald } HERE'S going to be a war of words and up and down the lists Now clamor as they caracole our big philologists ‘They ride the charger of reform and wide their praise knelled, For theyare all antagonized by English as she’s spelled. ‘They swiftly from“ pneumonia” will rip the usele: And the “ph” from “cenotaph” in jigtime quick must All diphthongs will be split in half, with wondrous vim and dash— And dear old Andrew Carnegie is putting up the cash. So all good folk, both grave and gay, ‘Though living in the woods Or in the hustling town, will say: Josh Billings was the goods. They're going to make the English tongue phonetic if they can, y have hit upon the proper plan. All letters must be heard, not se ‘The vowels all must stand around and mind th ‘Then as the Briton drops an “h” the g Will drop the “a” or “e” or “i” that never will be mist, Until all cumbrous spelling has been simply knocked to smash— And dear old Andrew Carnegie is putting up the cash. Full soon will scholars old and gray ‘Throw up thcir hats and hoods, With this blithe burden for their lay: Josh Billings was the goods. They're going to show that we've not lost the true phonetic sense And that the spelling of to-day will soon the golden hence Annex, and that typesetters are to blame for some of the Queer letter combinations which we call orthography. And then they many syllables will hammer full of holes Until our spelling shall be such as glads poctic souls. The aphthong’s fate is settled and likewise its festive hash— And dear old Andrew Carnegie is putting up the cash. So in our frisky, rampant play And in our merry mood We'll shout: Hip, hip, hip, hip, hooray, Josh Billings was the goods. K. Munkittrick. “ery tur mup” Just the Thing UEST (to proprictor oj summer hotel): That's great music you have with the meals. Proprietor: Like it, do you? “Splendid! Makes me forget that I’m not getting enough to eat.” Business Is Business NQUIRING FRIEND (to editor of a very popular magazine jor ladies): But why in the world did you advise readers to build such commonplace looking houses? Epitore Why, don’t you sce, after a sufficient number of them are built it gives me a fine opportunity to start a crusade against the bad taste of American domestic. architecture. ARE some of us great because we move in the society’ of small men. TUK BROOKLYN UANDICAP FOR TWO-YKAR-OLDS comicbooks.com