Life, 1906-04-05 · page 35 of 58
Life — April 5, 1906 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **"Oil More Constant Than Steel"** compares wealthy industrialists from two industries. The text sardonically contrasts Pittsburgh Steel magnates—who frequently divorce despite their wealth—with Standard Oil millionaires, who maintain stable family lives and religious devotion. The satire suggests Steel executives are hedonistic (gambling, drinking, pursuing women) while Oil men are prudish and respectable. The punchline redefines the phrase "true as steel" to actually mean "true as oil," inverting the trusted idiom to mock Steel's reputation for infidelity. **"Divorce"** critiques Bishop Doane's call for clergy to refuse remarrying divorced persons regardless of fault. Life sarcastically compares this blanket punishment to the Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe—suggesting absurd, indiscriminate harshness. The satire argues priests shouldn't escape accountability: if they facilitate failed marriages through administering sacraments, shouldn't they face consequences, perhaps by losing marriage fee income? Both pieces attack hypocrisy and inconsistent moral standards among the wealthy and clergy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THOSE EASTER HATS. Oil More Constant Than Steel. in March that another of the Pittsburg Steel million-a- minute men was being sued for divorce, The statistics of divorce among the Steel million- aires are not accessible at this moment, but so curiously large a percentage of these finan- cially prosperous persons have been advertised as unable to live harmoniously with their wives that it has come to be matter for sur- prise when a Steel couple, like the Schwabs, continue happy, though married and rich, It is so different with the Standard Oil mil- T was in the papers early lionaires, who are as strong in their clutch on original family life as on all the other attaina- ble sublunary blessings, Standard Oil family life may not be exciting, but it is remarkably continuous, Standard Oil is interested in Bible teaching, attends divine service regularly, raises small families of prudent and preda- ceous children, plays golf for recreation, and buys and sells stocks as unostentatiously as possible. Steel goes to horse races, gambles with a brass band, looks upon the wine when its bubbles rise up, has a too, too catholic ap- preciation of feminine loveliness, and raises offspring like unto itself. 433 When we say * trueas steel,” we don’t really mean it, We mean “true as oi Note. Nothing in the above should be un- derstood as applying to A. Carnegie or H.C. Frick. Divorce. ISHOP DOANE implores all clergy- men to agree never to remarry any divorced person, whether that person was guilty or innocent of offense. In thus confounding the victims of horrible injustice and “th e criminals of brutal or licentious habits in one common punishment, the Bishop is showing the remark- able consistency of the Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe, and who whipped all her children every night with motherly partiali im- Meanwhile Bishop Doane ought to seek to organize a Cleri al Union to guaran- church mar- riages shall not prove fa Not long man to the penitentiary for six years, andan infatuated fool of a woman insisted on ing him before he was shut up. Of course, a priest v found without diffi- in- sacra- ment.” But no priest will be found to aid this silly girl to re- trieve her rashness by a divorce, when she wakes up; and the very priest who was the accomplice and the size gua non of her insane act, will refuse her the privilege of remarriage. ‘The question arises: In view of the fact that priests and preachers are heaven's own agents in administering the sacrament of marriage, when a mar- riage fails, should not the priest or preacher be punished in some way— by being forbidden, for instance, to collect further marriage fees ? comicbooks.com