Life — March 1, 1906 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHAT IT COST. Charles Mathews, the famous actor, one day previous to the period of his publicly-proctaimed dire bankruptey, invited a friend to dine with him. The walnuts were washed down by some rare sherry, “That's a delicious wine,” his friend exclaimed. “Tt AT DANCING SCHOOL, OR THE SMALL BOY'S COMPLAINT. AN EXPERT OPINION, must have cost you a Jot of money.” “It didn’t cost me anything that I know of,” flighty comedian answered, with a shrug. *You had it given to you then?” the frien gested. “Oh, no," answered Mathews; “I bought it Ellis, in Bond Street! A wax at Eldorado, Kan., comes out with the But he will charge you something for the diatemient. that, after the maple syrup: hes al friend exclaimed in astonishment. exhausted from the Kansas corncobs the pulp is made “I believe he does write something down in a The other kids keep guyin into a breakfast food, which sells at ten cents 4 book,” Charles retorted gravely. “Let's have am My mother makes me awful mad, ‘Will alcohol dissolve sugar?” I wisht she'd let me be “It will,” replied the Old Soak; “it will dissolve But, dern the luck, she seems to think gold, brick houses and horses, and happiness, and ‘That she’s a-runnin’ mi love, and everything else worth having.” —Nortow w, here Tam dressed Champion At this here dancin’ sch I might look clean an’ sporty, but I feel jest I com pound.—Troy Times. other glass, my boy."—Exchange. ie “ 4 A ctercyaax, who was holding a children’s ser . L can't blame ‘em, ‘cause I do vice at a Continental winter resort, had occasion to ak mushy-like, an’ yet A _catechise his hearers on the parable of the Unjust If they ¢ guyin’ Steward. “What is a steward?" he asked. A little I'll punch some heads, [ll bet boy, who had arrived from England a few days be They ain't no fun in huggio’ girls, fore, held up his hand. “He is a man, si Rut what else kin [ do, With Mom a-settin’ lookin’ plied, with a reminiscent look on his face, brings you a basin.”—Kensas City Independent Doggone it, I feel blue Mom says I'll be a gentler Havixe announced his text, an old achzr down in Georgia went on to say, * on has been drawed ter de fact dat I has gone ‘n’ put a’ al right Des ler my two foots; but, long as he ez dar, I gwine Z let him stay ‘twel atter de benediction: fer I notice In years that is to €« he keeps send) e down here 1 won't—I'll be SAW THE WHOLE FIGHT é dat, des lak de res’ er you trifin’, no ‘count sinner done made up his mind ter take it easy en sh A man visited cene of the re done made up his mind ter take it easy ep through de sermon!"—Atianta Constitution, tam, and there met pleasure in explaining \ Kaxsas City woman tells this story on her bs band to demonstrate the inferiority of the masc ment negro f he was present when the Ae SETHERRE HHO RELK t took place, 3 ¢ Sartainly, sah coxa wai mind. One morning as her husband was sitting d T wuz right heah Divine to the breakfast table he glanced at the dining room clock and said, “We must be later than ususl this morning.” “Don't place too much confidence in that clock It stopped at five o'clock this morning, and [ ji set it going by guess,” replied tl 1 wife, “Were you up at five o'clock?" asked the husband. “Of course not.” “What time did you say the clock stopped “at five.” “If you weren't up at five,” replied the man, with a puzzted look, “how in thunder do you know when Me: Wise m fools are certain. . the cle pped?* Sue: Are you s We poverty Dies in at the door, es out “Why, dear, it stayed stopped,” was the reply. “I'm quite certs Fi in an automobile with another man.—Saturdey Even The man did not say another word that morning, Then she laughed.—Kansas City Independent. ing Post. Kansas City Times. “Then you must have seen the whole thing.” SAC TRAC WYER Suice THR’ RGIS’ seANOn ‘OrenkD — “Deed I did, at wuz right bili THAT'S WHAT MAKES MESO DESPONDENT eceupy lar, sah. 1 got down dar HE 1S THAT to keep out de way of Yankees ae know ; It 1 the people of London to eeged ter whoop for dem, ave { magistrate who is always like a bad <' dat of me an’ Jet Tem §'t it “What do you mean by th Well, isn't bi ght mayor? —Bales Live is published every Thurs 5.00 a year in advance. Postage to No contribution will be returned untess accompanied by stamped and ad= forcign countries in the Postal Union, $1.01. year extra. Single current copies, rested envelope, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publicatio ; illustrations in Live are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced, Live: is foe sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, ‘The Internat The Mestratiens ie larniereceyrieh edi ee Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, F. C., England, AGeNts. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address, HUNTER BALTIMORE That's All! | RYE REFINED TASTE Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md, New York Central’s Grand Central Station, ““""xew vox Comicbooks.com