Life, 1906-03-01 · page 29 of 46
Life — March 1, 1906 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous domestic story satirizing the gullibility of wealthy men toward self-improvement schemes. Von Blumer, a financier, announces he's adopting a new health regimen based on circulars (advertisements) he's received—likely promising chest expansion and physical transformation. The satire targets two things: First, the vanity of aging men susceptible to dubious health products claiming miraculous results ("increasing my chest at least five inches in six months"). Second, the irony that Von Blumer prides himself on not being easily influenced while simultaneously proving himself completely susceptible to marketing. Mrs. Von Blumer's anxiety is the joke's emotional core—she knows her husband's history of adopting ridiculous fads, and she's right to worry. The reference to "Professor Bounder" (likely a made-up or fraudulent expert name) reinforces that these are quack schemes targeting the wealthy and vain.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“TPHIS is the greatest day of my Von Blumer smiled a scorniul smile. LIFE: Von Blumer Goes in for Health. life.” “Me easily influenced?” hee Although Von Blumer, looking claimed. “I like that. Hum. © Ha! across the breakfast table at his wife, That's highly amusing. Well, my made this statement in the most mat- dear, I forgive you. That's like a ter-of-fact way, as if he were discuss- woman. It being your one, par- ing the weather, Mrs. Von Blumer ticular, weak point, you like to was not so easily deceived." put it off on to me, ily ine Her face assumed a look of anxiety. fluenced! Hal” “I hope, dear.” she said, “that you His suspicious wife was in too much are not going to start anything new suspense as to his datest idea to be You know you are so in- fluenced that” — easily His Wife: WAVE YOU MAD A BAD DAY, DEAR? The Financier : YES, 1 LOST OVER $250,000, LY $100 OF THAT WAS MY OWN’ MONEY! AND THE led aside by his superior manner. She had suffered too much already from ORST OF IT 18 THAT NEAR- (This story is continued on the fifth advertising page following.) his passion for something new, not to be alarmed. “TL hope,” she said, “that it isn’t any new system of work. You're not going to take up photography, are you? There's really no place for a dark room. You haven't invited a lot of business friends to dinner, have you? Because"—— Von Blumer stopped her with a gesture. “My dear,” he said, “it’s really piti- inl to see your condition. No resilience to nervous. You need” He stopped. Years of experience had taught him to be chary of intro- ducing any new idea too suddenly He looked at her fixedly. “Twant to ask said “Well, well, w “Do you love me “Don't be absurd. “I say No tone. you. Tired and ya question,” he is it?” do you love me?” “T suppose so.” “Do you value my companionship? Do you realize that upon me depends the support and well-being of this en- tire household? Think of means! Ah, think of the rest bility I'm under. If this hasn't come home to you yet, I assure you it has to me. what it msi- It devolves upon me. there- fore, as a positive duty, to see that I am always in the best possible phy- sical condition. My eye must bright. my step springy. my velvety yet hard and firm. 1” Mrs. Von Blumer turned pale. remembered now that for several days be muscles n past her husband had been absorbed in reading certain circulars that had come to him . “You don’t mean to s: tered, “that Health?” “T most certainly have. I have done what I should h done ten ago. Still, it is not too late. FE for a man of my age. the chances of increasing my chest at least five inches in six months are almost certain. Pro- fessor Bounder”—— Mrs. Von Blumer’s worst fears were confirmed. She remembered see- ing this magnificent gentleman in a she fi you have gone into urs yen comicbooks.com