Life, 1906-01-04 · page 29 of 48
Life — January 4, 1906 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Strict"** mocks rigid Victorian morality through a curate who disapproves of games of chance—suggesting religious hypocrisy about what constitutes acceptable behavior. **"Real Music"** is a humorous essay satirizing different classes' appreciation of classical music. It suggests that 90 of 100 people either don't understand music or pretend to, while only one person genuinely feels emotional connection—and that person is "mad." This critiques both intellectual pretension and the disconnect between claimed sophistication and actual feeling. **"Civilizing 'Poor Lo'"** (Lo = Native American) satirizes assimilationist policies. The poem mocks efforts to "civilize" Indigenous peoples by imposing Western clothing, labor, and hygiene standards. It presents the irony: the Indian gains "civilization" only by adopting uncomfortable shirts, insomnia, gout, and appendicitis—suggesting that Western "civilization" brings disease and suffering rather than genuine improvement. **"Bright Boy"** jokes about a child discovering food adulteration methods through chemistry—implying scientific knowledge enables deception.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a tS MOVING Strict. ve you married, Mr. Priestle: asked Miss Oldgirl ” said the curate never Jo not approve sternly, “Id ef bene- Hing | | se days. Real Music. HAT is Re For n 1M people out 0 ndred it is a sounding 1, and strings, mystery ; nb « brass, and a tinkling cymb superadding the voice of the domestic beast whose true inwardness they are. For nine out of the remaining ten, Real intellectual studied the stuff Music provides a species of gratification, ‘They ha somewhat, and have an understanding, more or less adequate, of its technical sign cance, and thus they. find its performance interesting. They are thrilied with the violins fingering tenths, and the trombones mounting to E in alt. But the hundredth man gets a genuine emotional effect from Real Music, although the chances seem to be that he is mad. Day. ns" must be civilized, they say ; nustall be put away, to have their hy ey've gi cut short and wear their cl {act like other citiz hing plain, s of Uncle Sam's domain. At fir Toward coll nobl r-buttons thi red man may not feel so kine h that fastens down the back, ‘Twere better th self he never should assert As he puts a fifteen collar on a stubborn sixteen shirt ‘The new, made-over Indian is standing in the dawn re he'll b lit the wood and, when t nt future wh ve to mow the lawn Ss conspire, ow from off the walks and tend the furnace fire. s familiar with insomnia and gout, and indigestion can he really boast about at advance; when he has had appendicitis, then The Indian may think himself as good as other men. We cannot call him civilized till he is brought to see ‘The truth of things conce i which no twoof us ag His crude and cruel notions we must € the isn’t to form s the “rocks,” show him he trust and, likewis M make hi He'll trade his knives for Gatling guns when once he’s civilized, water stock n know t s right when c suised ;— Nixon Waterman, Bright Boy. ughed at me when I put my boy I laboratory. But I tell you. edu Why, he has discovered a new method o. ting foods that simply can’t be detected. ARKE: People through a chemi tion pays. adult comicbooks.com