Life, 1905-12-14 · page 17 of 24
Life — December 14, 1905 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Life magazine page (page 755) contains several distinct satirical pieces: **"The Harlequin of Graft"**: A poem attacking someone named Chauncey M.D. (likely a public figure of the era), presenting him as a fraud—a Yale graduate posing as legitimate while being "nothing but a crazy quilt" of borrowed jokes and schemes. The title suggests he profits through dishonest means ("graft"). **Animal Cruelty Section**: Attacks John P. Haines, manager of the New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, accusing him of corruption and inefficiency. The text reveals that Haines lobbied for a law preventing rival animal-welfare organizations from forming in certain counties—protecting his monopoly and revenue stream while harming animals. **"The Two Schools"**: A cartoon contrasting two medical philosophies: one spiritual (claiming sickness is sin), one practical. **"Easily Answered" and "A Hard Matter"**: Brief satirical quips mocking society women's shallowness and wealthy men's difficulty finding competent servants. The page's theme is institutional hypocrisy and corruption masked by respectability.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
o_ -LIFE- 755 The Harlequin of Graft. Y name is Chauncey M. D I used to be a thing or two, But now they call me Fakir, And a cartoon on my maker; pew. I'm pilloried in the public priat— A star without a firmament. 1, the thing that Vander built, Am nothing but a crazy quilt Made out of jokes from Ptolemy's time, Of ancient jibes of every clime, Of court-fool jabs and jeers of sage— Down to the paleozoic age. Behold! A graduate of Yale Who never yet has been in jail, With me, all kings have roundly laughed ; harlequin of Graft. Cres Tam laughlin, Concerning Animals. HE New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ani- mals, now managed by Mr. John P. Haines, is notoriously rotten and in- efficient Lovers of animals are continually enraged by its amazing shortcom- ings. But the revenues are fat. If other societies were formed \. thecondition of animals would be ~~ materially improved. But Mr. Haines takes a trip to Albany now and then, the revenues of the Society being worth considering, and the following law sumably, one of the results of this solicitude. pre- Mempersute Corroration Law, Section 7t. Promimirion or New Corporations IN CERTAIN CouNTIES. A corporation for the prevention of cruelty to animals shall not hereafter be incorpo- rated for the purpose of conducting its operations in the counties of New York, Kings, Queens, Richmond, Suffolk, Wes chester “or Rensselaer, or in any other county, if thereby there would be two or more such corporations formed for the pur- pose of conducting operations in such county. This prohibits any society from preventing cruelty SbwELL Toney Ld to animals, except the one already existing. An excellent thing for John P. Haines, but hard on 74, cpyiep animals, ; THE TWO SCHOOLS. Fentist © SICKNESS 18 ONLY A MANIFESTATION OF SIN. actitioner : TWEN, MADAME, YOUR MUSBAND 18 ON THEE ROAD TO PERDITION, The Reg Easily Answered. F the debuts of celebrated singers are noted with care, w also be the first ap York Globe the contrary, represent natural endowments, hard work, love of art, enthusiasm, ambition, and high endeavor. Who but a society reporter could ask such a question? A Hard Matter. em to get a butler to suit me, 's the trouble ? ll, they either know too little, or too much. Because the “distinguished * women of society represent only the clothes they wear. They hold no position in art, PARKE: I can’t literature, science or general culture. They are distinguished Lane: W merely by extensive advertising. Celebrated singers, on “We comicbooks.com