Life, 1905-12-07 · page 32 of 60
Life — December 7, 1905 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This article satirizes women's fashionable hats of the early 20th century. The author argues that while hats appear elegant when worn, they're impractical, uncomfortable, and illogical—yet women prioritize fashion over sense. The piece mocks how hat sizes and weights vary absurdly by whim rather than season, how they're difficult to secure in wind, and how they require women to contort their bodies uncomfortably. The satire contrasts fashionable Western women with Italian peasants and Spanish ladies, who solve the "hat problem" practically with simple kerchiefs and mantillas. The accompanying comic strip depicts a man's escalating frustration as his wife repeatedly claims she must shop early to avoid crowds—yet arrives home empty-handed each time. The central joke: women's adherence to arbitrary fashion dictates (symbolized by mysterious "they") overrides practical judgment, making the feminine hat emblematic of female irrationality regarding style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A GRA-LIFES fin om The Feminine Hat. HERE is probably no article of woman's apparel nore of an effect while on and less Perched atop of shed pompadour, her carefully brushed it appears a chic and et tume; not exactly sensible, per and obviously a th ¢ worn on the Held in the hand, it s' Jenly loses all ch acter; it is without form, void of charm, s icly no excuse for existence it was a hat; now 1 pill-box, a pincushi A-brac, a flower garden, The cruelty of weari virds on her head never occurs to some of the est and most hu psurdity of wearing a pan when she has z others, and the does not strike an immense nd ornaments over a of expensive plu ly eyes is evidently not part of the calculations of the unlovely rich. It is on her hat greatest lack of it, an fatal word!) the be In the modish hat al man shows her finest taste or desire to be “ of them often let discretion slip to the ndividuality woman of pronounced views approach her She may be der, whose word is law She may be an authe of distinguished pers or a club leader renowned for her stror je toward all persuas and her unbending meekly allows her milliner to perch upon her dignific ss creation, a thing and bent bey and with no mission of utility or comfort, called by cour- On bright Spring mornings, when there is no shade in the budding trees and the eyes need some protection from the too ambitiously glaring sun, she wears a pill-box or ir on the back of her best to uplift and dis- tambourin Winter, w place ever ble theory, she ventures forth in: with every sail unfurled, the whole thing ingeniously con- trived to compel her to bow her head to the blast like a in a blizzard. Hat pins and veils are of feeble trength in such a case. The only way the hat is held on is by bending to and bucking the blast. There are times when the feminine hat weighs five pounds and upwards, and other times when it is so light it blows shaped a en the wind is doing i hing in sight and non-resistance is a comforta- wide-brimmed creation, rer is riding in an open car, and she goes three blocks without discovering her loss. Some measure three fect in circumference, and are not remarkable at that, while others are so minute that the fingers of one hand may span their teacup proportions. An intelligent, but unin- formed man might fancy that women’s hats were light in Summer and heavy in Winter, but that is not so. It is all on the knees of the gods. La snow flies if fashion so decrees, and three dozen weighty ¢ piled on a stiff straw for midsummer wear if it of the mysterious “they” who adgear, In the olden times it was even worse. Then there were F when the we ce hats are seen when the roses happens to lay down the law of feminine hi weird and heavy swathings of rich goods, and. steeple crowns, and stovepipes and things that look like wasps’ feet long—all instru- hat w nests, and conical affairs at least two nts of torture, And yet in medieval times a mark of distinction The Italian peasant, with her kerchief, and the Spanish lady, with her mantilla, have solved their hat problems gracefully, and the American girl cut the Gordian knot ‘an this be the beginning this Summer by going barehead. of a great reform? Beatrice Sturges. THREE WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. TWO WEEKS BEFORE. “Ya NOT GOING TO BUY VERY MANY PRESENTS THIS YEAR, DEAR, BUT W “convounn Ir! 1 atust Get cuRist- MAS PRESKNTS RARLY THIS YEAR, ALL NONSENSE WAITING TILL THE LAST 1 DO GeT I'LL BUY THIS WERK, To AVOID THE TERRIBLE CRUSH AT THE EVENTM HOUR.” ONE WEEK BEFORE, THE DAY BEFORE. “SUPPERING MOSES! MERE IT 18 YOU WILL FIYD MIM IN THE SAME PRIDAV,ONLY A FEW DAYS TILLCHRIST- OLD TURBULENT, ELEVENTH = HOUR MASI MUST MURKY AND GET A FEW JAM. presents." (Puts it off as usual.) comicbooks.com