Life, 1905-11-02 · page 28 of 48
Life — November 2, 1905 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces from *Life* magazine: **Top cartoon ("Clothes Make a Difference"):** Three men in suits discuss a fourth poorly-dressed man. The joke is that clothing determines social perception—the shabby man appears unrecognizable to people who went to school with him, revealing how thoroughly appearance shapes how society judges and treats individuals. **Bottom story ("Dedicated to All Animals"):** This is savage satire mocking wealthy philanthropists and their performative charity. "St. John the Dormant" is a self-satisfied rich man disturbed by reports of animal suffering (a dog hit by a car, a cat impaled on a railing, an overworked horse). Rather than help directly, he performs theatrical "concern"—sending his slave with eau-de-Cologne and recording the gesture as "Investigated Case Number 3,982" (implying thousands of such meaningless acts). The satire ridicules those who make charity about themselves rather than actual relief.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CLOTHES MAKE A DIFFERENCE. *wito's THE OLD GUY?” “TMAT'S KING—VOU OUGHT To KNOW MIM—HE WENT To SCHOOL WITH US.” “Pook OLD CHAP ME dees SHOW M18 AGR, DOESN'T Me?” Dedicated to All Animals. T was a luxurious chamber in a corner of the marble palace which rises under the shadow of the yellow tower topped by the flashing gilt figure of Di the Huntress. At one end of the chamber sat St. John the Dormant—nay, he re- a fat hand pressed to his How many, many clined, wit weary brow. He sore distressed. times had he been roused from his pleasant reve and. compelled to lay aside the silver hand mirror with which he whiled away whole delicious hours! The telephone before him had seemed to jangle incessantly. First some inco: erate person had told him that a dog had been run over and was lying in the street with a ileg Then a stupid cat had sprung from a window d impaled itself on a spiked railing, to the rare amusement of a crowd of boys who had thrust the animal down tighter whenever it seemed about to struggle free. Again, it had been a thought- less, blind, old horse which had succumbed beneath a load and was unable to rise It was all so utterly selfish! When His Sanctified Somnolence had been disturbed twice by persons relating the dog episode, thrice by those who had seen the cat, and at least four times by witnesses to the suffering of the horse, St. John the Dormant could bear the annoyance no longer. He extended a languid, jeweled hand and pressed an ivory button. As soon as the summoned slave had raised his awed face from the rug at the feet of The Presence, the latter spoke, slowly and with a great wearin: * There is a horse out there somewhere,” he waved his hand toward the windows, “ which has fainte: Here, I w’ y cau-de-Cologne and bathe its head give my own handkerchief. Encourage the animal with a few kind words, and tell it that I send it my love. And be sure to write in the Great Record that this is Investi- gated Case Number— " ** Number three this month, § the slave said quickly, by way of showing how faithfully he had noted the Glorious Work, “ Three!” thundered the Awful One. ** Make it 3,982, creature! Do you hear me? Now, be off with you—and don't waste the eau-de-Cologne! ”