Life — October 19, 1905 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EPITAPH ON A COOK. Ab, Bridget, here is We have no doubt ‘twould make you grieve; Beneath this monument you dwell The only place you cannot leave. —New r reve York Sun, FLESH AND BLOOD. “Every now and then," he remarked from his tilted chair behind the cold stove in the livery stable office, “somebody comes to me and tells me that the bile will drive the horse to the wall as sure as nim. I pity him nature, The time that nd T pity because he kne ttle about human by automobiles lust d horse'll be about the babies are driven out by sa and not muct “Do you remember two or three weeks ago when Mac had to quit for good in the Charter Oak Keeled and laid down like a tired put it, People were sorry from Every paper had an obituary editorials. V built, and how many if he escaped y an undersized Sadie stake at Hartford? Lild, as oni Maine to_ California. writer on her, and some gave h ck a racing fastest ¢ would there be? nis life mourners ener, maybe, with © Mac was 1 it better ny Ys tru at's the difference? doing 1 doing thing that’s trotted in mare ner class this yea but nothing more than a mare. W Ml the difference in the world. dd the dead; plute, do-ordlie spirit that compels admiration an difference be tween the living a between the game, inanimate machine that doesn't. Take a clock as stopped forever, even a faithful clock, and wring a the children ree pump; but they'll er broken over a white mouse or a pet kitten or a St fernard that’s passed on to the animal heaven. The nd the troll of commission and the automobile won't; still, I hope for their sake that it'll take a few of them out of the han f the brutal and how to use them.""—Pre with a steany haven't put horses out ignorant who don't know idence Journ Lire is published every Thursday. $5.00 a ye foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year € 10 ceats, Live is for sale by all Newsdealers i Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, Great Britai Back numbers, after three months frou: date of publication, NOT THE ONE. Commenting on the number of Joneses in Wates, a writer says: “It is inconvenient if, when a fore: man calls "Jones!" forty or fifty men come running to him.” It recalls the old story told of a certain Oxford College much resorted to by Welshmen, .\ man from another college went into their quad in search of a friend, and called “Jones!” All the win- Joking on the quad flew open, “I want John Half the windows closed. “I Jones,” said th he Joh dows closed but ¢ Jones who has got a toothbrush.” All the w —London Globe, FROM A NOVEL. AS ME RRAD THOE AWOL NEWS SHE TURNED A LITTLE PALE!” PLEASANT PROSPECT. The following notice was tacked on the wall in the vestry of the Bethesda Methodist Colored Church na Southern city “There will be a picnic of this society in Green ning at nine a. mM. in the nrning. Good behavior is requested from young and nothing will be left undone which would casure of the com Lippi Crove next Friday, bei 1, and tend to 4 ee Postage to No dressed € arin e. xtra, 5 current copies, lope. 9. The International News London, E. C., England, Aces. AN ORQER MISTIMED, A celebrated Continental specialist to whom time was literally money and who was possessed of a fery temper made it a rule that all patients s before entering his consulting room so as pot of his valuable time. One day a meek. looking Tittle man entered with all his clothes on, “What do you mean by coming in like that?" the doctor, in a rage. “Go and strip at once!” “Rut 1—" faltered the man, “I tell you T've no time to waste,” yelled the doctor, and the poor man left the room in baste, When his turn came he re-entered the room. “Now then,” said the doctor, “that’s better. What can f do for you? “L called to collect your subscription benevolent society."—The Tatler. waste any said for 1 OVER THE ENTRANCE. One of the morning papers tells a good story of Dr. Jowett, the Master of Balliol, An Oxford und graduate was expatiating to him on the merits o typical French novel. After listening in silence for a while, the master asked, “What sentence is wr ebove the entrance to hell?” “Nban hope, all ye that enter here, the other, replied said Jowett. “It is ‘Ici '—London Globe. on parle Fran cais.” "GETTING ON.” Grandfather Durgan is ninety-two y summer day he took his youngest greatgranlson out to the orchard to inve the old man bit into an apple he seemed hesitant and thoughtful, “What's the matter, grandpa?” asked the boy. “It jest occurred to me," said grandyo, tecth ain't jest what they used to be. gettin’ on. Now if I was sure I'd live to be an old man, so’s ‘twould be a payin’ investment, I believe I'd go and git me seme false ones made.” —Yourh's Com Tux London Globe states that Genera recently ordered all the Tatars in th ta to come in and deliver their arms on AAt the appointed time two rusty daggers and a Water: ary wateh were turned in. Listrict certain day. contribution will be returned untess accompanied by stamped and ad The illustrations in Laveare copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced, WILSON WHISKEY That’s i | i | All! AST DRALER ANTHERS, The Solution of How Best to Maintain the Store of Energy laid up during | vacation time is found in Evans’ estersroxs Ale It adds to the good work of Nature and brin gs Sold Everywhere lasting benefits. Established 1860 150 Varieties | Steel Pens | The Best Pens Made | ae SS comicbooks.com