Life, 1905-10-12 · page 24 of 26
Life — October 12, 1905 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents three brief humorous pieces satirizing everyday annoyances, plus advertisements. The lead article describes occupational facial paralysis afflicting bank tellers, photographers, and elevator operators—caused by forced smiling at repetitive jokes. Bank customers say "New money, eh?" to tellers handing out fresh bills; photographers endure "Ain't you afraid I'll break the camera?"; elevator boys hear "Lots of ups and downs in your life, ain't there?" The satirical point: these worn-out quips, repeated countless times daily, literally damage workers' facial nerves from constant forced laughter. Two shorter pieces follow: one about a boy peeling potatoes who removes so much dirt he's left with nothing to cook, and another mocking a magistrate who mechanically advises a woman whose husband threatened murder to "come back and tell me" if he follows through—absurdly deferring justice. The page is otherwise filled with period advertisements for patent medicines, underwear, and liquor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“EVE | ED.PINAUD'S EAU DE QUININE oe DERFUME 10c. Bottles DENTIFRICE (to pay cost of wrap and postage) Take advant hisofferand give | ED. PINAUD'S preparations a thor- ough trial—you will more than get your money's worth and will know by actual test the quality of the | toilet articles produced in the world, ED. PINAUD'S Eau de Quinine Hair Tonic is at once a necessity and aluxury. Cleanses the scalp—remov lates and beautifies the hai “ED. PINAUD! S Perfume is exqui- Be sure to write sample. ED. PINAUD'S Elixir Dentifrice cleanses, whitens and prese the } teeth, and leave: a taste i It most * for postaze ant pack: convince Youreif of the muperior Merits of these preparations. The supe: y of Wool for underwear is an ac- cepted principle of modern hygiene. ‘Jaeger’? is war- ranted all wool, of finest fibre and softest weave. This explains its agreeable feel and healthy action on the And this is why endorse it. Special Weights for Fall Boaklete and Samples Pree New York ; 306 Pifth Ave., 157 Rrowdway. Bklyn.: GO Fulton St. Boston: £28 Boylston St. 11510 Chestnut St, Chicago: AB State St Agents in all Principal Cities. ED. PINAUD'S AMERICAN OFFICES, | Victims of Old Jokes. A HOSPITAL surgeon says that there is more facial paralysis among bank pay: ing tellers, photographers and elevator oper- uors than in any other classes. He accounts | for it with the words: “Old jokes.” Jokes! How so?” “Whenever a bank clerk hands out a fresh, p bill, the non the other side of the window says, ‘New money, eh? Made it your- self, I suppose" It is up to the teller to force a laugh. The man on the chair s: ‘Ain't you afraid Vl break the camera?’ He would he mortally wounded if the operator did not One man out of every ten will enter 1 elevator and say to the boy at the rope, ots of ups and downs in your life, ain't there?” The boy forces a smile, Year after year of this sort of business tells in the long run. The victims come here for treatment, and we can hold out no hope to th ess they get into another line of labor.”’—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Tramp: WE SEEN BETTER NIGHTS, SIR, WILL YOU GIVE. ME THE PRICE OF A Day's LoDGr Kept Cutting the Dirt Off. Ts members of the family were camping ou south of town for the day and little I been assigned the work of peeling for dinner. After laboring for an hour he hunted up his mother. “he said, “I gotta have some more potatoes.” I gave you eno for two families she replied in surprise. “What did you do with them ot to wash my hands,” said Georgie: the time [ got all the dirt cut off the statoes they was too small to eat. I throwed way."—Kansas City Times. HE Police Magistrates so often admonish women complainants to come back and re- port any further wrongdoing on the part of husbands who have just been released that they fall into the habit of repeating the ad- monition on every occasion in which a man and wife are concerned. The other day a woman told Magistrate Moss that her husband had reatened to kill her. Very well, madam, if he does, you come back and tell me and I will punish him,” re- plicd the Magistrate mechanically—New York Sun, “On and Off like a Coat” ett COAT SHIRTS Made in original designs of FAST COLOR FABRICS in style, quality and finish LIKE CUSTOM WORK. $1.50 and up. CLUETT, PEABODY & CO., AAMGEOT MAKERS OF SHIRTS AND COLLARS IM THE WORLD, G.H. MUMM & 60.’S Extra Dry of the new vintage now arriving is con- ceded to be the finest produced this decade, Naturally Dry. | Selected Brut The finest brut champagne in the market. Made of selected cuves of vintage phe . especially adapted for brut wines. A very Dry Champagne of exceeding Purity. J. CALVET & CO. BORDEAUX, CLARETS AND BUROUNDIES palolders of a verzjaree and carefully selected stack of it Chateaa Wines ew and. ok Bottlings of Red and White Bordeaux and Burgundies. P, J. VALCKENBERG Worms O. Rh., Germany. Estab, 1786. RHING AND MOSELLE WIN Sole Proprietor of tho Liebfraumilch, Cloisters and other renowned vineyards, OTARD, DUPUY & CO. COGNAC. — BRANDIES. ROBERTSON, SANDERSON & CO. “MOUNTAIN DEW" — “LIQUEUR SPECIAL” xosT FAxOUS OF ALL, REAL SCOTCH WHISK Atall leading Wine Merchants, Grocers, Hotels, Cates, OLD CROW RYE sredor WHISKEY soe ee 50. comicbooks.com