Life, 1905-10-05 · page 40 of 44
Life — October 5, 1905 — page 40: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, dominated by a large Standard Sanitary Manufacturing advertisement for porcelain bathroom fixtures (tubs, lavatories, toilets). The ad uses an illustrated woman in a modern bathroom to promote installing these products as a health and property-value investment. Below are three brief **humorous anecdotes**: 1. **"A Dog in a City Directory"**: A New Haven dog owned by attorney David Strouse was literally listed in the city directory with an occupation ("watchman"), treating the pet as a resident. 2. **"Sounded Like It"**: A mother warns her departing son about temptations and wicked men, to which his father sarcastically responds the warnings make it sound like the boy is going to the U.S. Senate. 3. **"What He Meant"**: A legal anecdote about Vice President Millard Fillmore. A plaintiff's attorney credits Fillmore's law partner Havens as the "right bower" (strongest player) opposing him, but Havens clarifies he meant Fillmore himself—a card-game reference Fillmore doesn't initially understand. These are light satirical pieces typical of Life's humor content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The perfect way of assuring health and promoting comfort in your home is by installing a bathroom equipped with “Stasdard” Porcelain Enameled Ware. A “Staedarf” modern bathroom is not an expense but a wise investment, paying daily interest in comfort and health, as well as increasing the selling value of your property. “Standard” Porcelain Enameled Baths and One-piece Lavatories are made in one piece, free of cracks or crevices. The surface of “Stardard” ware is snowy white and non-porous. Its dura- bility and the perfection of the Porcelain enamel finish make it the most beautiful, useful and ornamental equipment you can secure. Our Book, “ MODERN BATHROOMS,” tells you how to plan, buy and arrange your bathroom, and illustrates many beautiful and inexpensive as well as luxurious rooms, showing the approximate cost of each fixture in detail, together with many hints on decoration, tiling, etc. It is the most complete and beautiful booklet ever issued on the subject and contains 100 pages. FREE for six cents postage. The ABOVE INTERIOR, No. P-26, costing approximately $101.00 at factory —not counting piping and labor — is described in detail among the others. CAUTION: Every piece of gennine ‘Steedanf Porcelain guarantee label, and has our trade-mark “Standard” cast on eled Ware bears our “Stastanf” "Green and Gold’* exterior. Untess the label and trade-mark are on the fixture, it is not genuine “Standard” Ware, Refuse all substitates—they are all inferior and will cost you more in the end. Address Standard Sanitary Mfg. Co. vept. 34 prrtsBurcH, PA. Olfices and Showrcoms in New York: “Stasdend” Building, 35-37 West 31st St. Loodoa, England: 22 Holborn Viaduct, .C. THE | |Woodbury’s Facial Soap by its ability to nourish and [freshen while cleansing the minutely constructed cutcle its one to make a good looking glass impression. Send 10 aa, for samples of all four preparations. |The Andrew Jergens Co., Sole Licensee, Cin. O| BORATED TALCUM v Ahositive Rehet = Tm Fer A Dog in a City Directory. ape New Haven City Directory for 199s, just out, contains the name of a dog, cre ited with a residence and a full name. Ih the terrier owned by Attorney David Str In the list of Strouses the dog’s name ha place, It is recorded as Lex Strouse, oceup tion watchman, and its boarding-house 143 John’s Street — Haven (Conn.) Dispatch, Sounded Like It. 'HE lad was about to leave home. “My son,” said the old mother now going where temptations will you. There will be wicked men on You will find unprincipled men at every “Oh, it ain’t so bad as all that, maw,” int rupted the male parent. “From the talk a body would think Jimmy w straight to the United St . isville Courier-Journal, What He Meant. EFORE Millard Fillmore was el the vice-presidency of the United he was head of the law firm of Filly & Havens, of Buffalo. It was one of the law firms of the State. He was the defend} torney ina certain action in Buffalo. Atl the opening of the trial of the case the 1 attorney stated to the jury that he wou to depend entirely upon the justice client's case, as the defendant had sou }obtained the aid and counsel of one ablest firms of lawyers in Western New York, ind he might say he had opposed to him th | right bower of the legal profession. Fillmore. Mr. Havens replied, “Ie means you.” Yes, 1 know,” replicd Mr. Fillm what does he mean by that particular expre! sion?” “Did you never play euchre?” said Mavens!) “No,” said Mr. Fillmore. i “Well,” said Havens, “in the game of euchte) the right bower is the biggest knave in tht] pack,”"—New York Tribune, * comicbooks.com