Life, 1905-10-05 · page 39 of 44
Life — October 5, 1905 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **advertisements and humor pieces** rather than political cartoons. **The ads include:** - Penn Mutual Life Insurance (with mortgage/mule comparison) - Du Pont Smokeless powder (hunting equipment) - Mackintosh's Toffee candy - White Rock mineral water **The humor pieces are:** 1. **"Two Bits Wasted"**: An Irish immigrant dialect joke about a drunk who forgot he'd already paid his bartender for drinks the previous Thursday—now he's overpaying. 2. **Admiral Dickins anecdote**: A brief story about Admiral Dickins observing a sailor hauling hay at Fort Monroe, recalling another British sailor similarly burdened. The punchline appears cut off but suggests the sailor's job is humble/amusing. 3. **Bobby and Tommy dialogue**: A brief comic exchange where Tommy mentions being "in love with the Sunday-school teacher," implied to be someone named Willie. The joke's full point is unclear from the visible text. The page reflects early 20th-century magazine humor emphasizing ethnic stereotypes and sentimental anecdotes alongside period advertising.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A mortgage is like Deacon Smith's mule, "Dreadful sot in its ways." It hasa habit of bobbing up regularly. While you live you can take care of it. After that—well, you'd be wise now to consult the PENN MUTUAL LIFE Philad’a EASY GUNNING GOOD DOGS, A WAGON AND DU PONT SMOKELESS. E. 1. Du Pont Company Wilmington, Delaware Two Bits Wasted. IkE’S a story told by Fred Collier, which ms to indicate that the lid isn’t on in "5 to pay for thim two drinks T stood uf for last wake,” said a local Irish char- to the bartender of a Topeka drink em- © other afternoon, handing the man vhite apron a quarter, . you don't owe 1 do you?” yes, you do, I her now. It was last Thursday you got .” he suddenly added Why the divil didn’t ye tell me ye'd for- I owed yez?" exclaimed the Irishman. | the dispenser 1 have saved that twenty-five cin! ty Journal, DMIRAL DICKINS during the sham hon iment of Fort Monroe smiled one mi sa sailor s! cd past him with a bale of hay on his back. “He makes me said the Admiral, according to The Buffalo Commercial, “of another sailor, a British one, whom I saw one day at Gil He, too, had a load of hay and was toiling with it up from the little fishing vill lies at the foot of the great rock. with him a little while, and, as we parted, said: ‘Who are you, my man? What job do you hold here? “Well,” the sailor answered, as he took up Tommy: OM, MeS IN LOVE WITH THE SUNDAY- the hay again, ‘I used to consider myself a SCHOOL TEACHER, ket, but I'm d ed if I “YOU DON'T TELL. MEL SHE IS AN OLD FLAME OF I'm a Robby: WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH WILLIE? sary mule. "— MINE.” < “ork Tribune. MACKINTOSH’S TOFFEE A CANDY, originated in Yorxsutee, England. Made from pare butter, cream and sugar, and other good he purest candy candy—but a delicious old English sweetmeat, ¥ one will enjoy, ak off a piece and let It dimolve ta the moath, and I Jou find it more-ish—the more you eat of It, the ply you. Seothat my name and free F send me 10 cents for a trial package. JOHN MACKINTOSH 24, 78 HUDSON StT., NEW YORK hite Roc. Purest of All Mineral Waters Quaffed with equal delight in the quiet communion of the home or in the fellowship of the bon-vivant. Its charm lies not in the occasion, but in its remarkable purity and health-giving virtues. comicbooks.com