Life — May 11, 1905 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

at the other. You sec, it was laid out in counties, “And the worst of it is it breaks up families so, Two years ago 1 saw a whole family prostrated with grief—women yelling, children howlin; d dogs barking. One of my men had his camp-truck packed on seven four-mule teams, and he was going aroy 1 everybody good-by A KISS DEFINED. was in town on a visit toa granddaughter. Mr. Ade Where was he going?” A thing of use to no one, but much prized by thought that theatre tickets would be a fitting atten: “He was going half-way across the farm to feed two tion, and on consulting ber as to her choice of plays the pigs.” replied the Dakota man. The baby’s right, the lover's privilege, the pare she explained that she had seen “The Merchant of “Did he ever get back to his family?” benison, and the hypocrite’s mask. Ven over thirty years ago, and had always had a “It isn't time for him yet. Up there we send That which you cannot give out taking, strong desire to witness n. He accordingly young married couples out to milk the cows, and their @nnot take without giving. looked to it that her wi . children bring home the milk.""—Tit-Bits. Aagiof truce “in theigeity, Ware OP <oliviabip Calling the next day, he asked her how she found that the performance compared with the one of long WANTED THE JOB ny to a bashful man, meer ss anne One of the Southern Senators recounts a con. The only known “smack” that will calm a storm. “Well,” «she: :repliedy, “Venice .scema to. have ation that once took place between a fri f his 1 spruced up a smart bit, but that Shylcek is the —a business man in Mobile—and a colored man who same mean, grasping critter that he used to be."— Harper's Weekly. The only really agreeable double-faced action ¢ sun—or the moon, either had made ap work, “Well,” said the business man, after the ity c of the eyes. had been made of the darky's qualificatic Ww should like to give you the place, but two heads are better than one.— % can't do so, for IT understand you are marri special reasons, I desire for this place a si An expression of the deepest di A FRIEND OF BILL ADAMS : to the dusky countenance of the applic : after a short silence, during which he m to himself by way of reflection, he said, hopefully and eagerly “Well, boss, if dat's de only trouble, 1 thirk kin arrange a divorce all right."—Herper's Meet ly thunder-clap of the lips which inevitably fol- Rowsprit, able bodied seaman, had just retailing dven “We were loading uy aid he, “when our diver, some winkles for tea, washed away the under part o” the island, an’ it ADVICE. only held down by a few roots, Our ski < Abe Hummel, the New York lawyer, had it cut adrift; an’ takin’ the blessed island in — known as a master of repartee, is to be er we arted off with it, cokernut trees, monkeys, a new, pithy, and very-much-to-the-p * eversth other me accompanying a client to court, the nd home a = case at issue being a breach of promise suit for dam “YOU'RE A LAWYER, AREN'T YOU ? es, based on letters written by the def “SURE I" counselor had been giving a lesson on mo minions beyond th ‘a a ‘*WIIAT'S YOUR SPECIALTY ?” client, when the latter dejectedly remarked: “Lor’, of the listening lub- “ANYTHING IN THE F LINE.” know all about it, \be; the same old song, ‘Do + bers. and fear nothing. “We got as f. o’ Tiseay all serene,” went on the mariner, “when wot should we meet but where, an’ exhibit tanner a time, a 2 of” th’ British dos of no! That's not it at all,” answered Abe Has; sie resumed the Dakota: farmer: a the “don't write, and fear nothing.” Argonaut. the Battle Fleet,-an* thinkin’ iv was x disgdleed J crowd of agriculturists seated themselves around a . little table; “yes, sir, we do things on rather a sizable ad in tow, I'm hanged if them : =f sa anese crooser we drunken loonaties dide't blow our little cokernut island into smithereens with a torpedo! Rough ly arn’ x ion neoosmcs torpedo! Rough luck, warn't umn. Then he turned around and harvested was making a call, “Won't you come and shske hands, my son scale, I've seen a man on one of our farms AN ENEMY. start out in the spring and plough a straight furrow “What a nice little boy!” said the minister, wno “5 “We have some big farms up there, gentlemen. snapped the nice little boy. NEWS FROM VENICE. A friend of mine owned one which he ° y ust! Don't you like me?” George Ade recently heard that an old lady from mortgage on, and I pledge you my word the m “Naw! [had ter git me hands an’ face washed the neighborhood in Ind where he was born was due at one end hefore they ¢ jist because you come."—Philadelphia Press, Live is published every Thursday. $5.00 a year in advance. Postage to contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and ad- foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.01.a year extra. Single current copies, dressed envelope. 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cen Live is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great ritain, The International News Company, Hream's Building, Chancery Lane, Londo, E. C., England, AGENTS The iltustrations in Live are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. WILSON WHISKEY That’s All! Meteors be Ase WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. Most Perrect Buock SIGNALS ON THE New Yok: CENTRAL. comicbooks.com