Life, 1905-01-19 · page 25 of 38
Life — January 19, 1905 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Submarine Justice"** (top illustration): A dark cartoon depicting an "Octopoliceman" enforcing wartime justice on a submarine, with figures being executed at sea. The caption references a court martial ("Judge Watrus") condemning someone to six months on land—satirizing the harsh, arbitrary nature of military justice during what appears to be WWI submarine warfare. **"Football Is Indispensable"** (left column): A critique of college football's dominance. The author argues football is treated like a "national possession" (alongside the Monroe Doctrine and Tariff), claiming it's indispensable only because colleges depend on gate-money revenue. The satire suggests football perpetuates pauperism by preventing workers from improving their own circumstances through self-reliance. **"Gradations"** and **"Takes Time"** (right side): Humorous verses about a woman's weight gain over time and a joke about Wagner's "simple life" requiring leisure time to practice—both light social satire. The magazine's tone is typical Progressive-era critique of American institutions and class economics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Octopoliceman : MAY AT PLAZ® VER HONOR, Football Is Indispensable. WE have four en barrassing na- tional possessions the Monroe Doctrine, the Tariff, the Philp- Game of Football. They are all very troublesome, but of ce of the can we let yo. oT is continual grumbling about football, but what il so long as football brings n which nearly all the ns of college athletics sub- does ita’ in the m other fo: sist ? ML is the hard-worki rich uncle of all the little impe- athletics, the milk-can for all the infant athletic industries, It has got to work for gate-money,or there will be destitution in the college athletic cunious. SUBMARINE JUSTICE TS TH SAME OLD OFFINSE Judge Watrus family—nosweaters, meda graphs for the grounds for no paid c anything but perhaps, for the ba opportunities ares: earn their own thinking so much about fh game, and think laborious form = of though we realize t of benefactions SCORCHIN, IN THEIR WATERMOBILE AT TH’ RATE OF FORTY KNOTS A SIENVIT SIX MONTHS ON LAXD. nest workers, no ne he serub mere he is and phe d minor teams, aches for anybody, no play, ball te; except, is, Whose h that they ca ey. Let us stop tball as a of it reas a ben the great danger the chance of jon, even pauperizing folks, or industries, that could uggle along on their own legs if they had to, and would be better off if they did. Status. s HAT’S the son?" * He's all write.” matter with Law- Gradations. INCE she was twe ty bs proven well The way that the cales will jump 5 y pounds, Described by hee friends as plump. She « to thirty mortals wil, And after those years had flown dred She weighed one nd sixty pounds, Ass embonpoint she was known, It then developed, as time went 0, t She came to forty, whe sh «4 one hundred a Described by her friends as fat sixty pounds, Velandburch Wilson. Takes Time. e HAT do you think of Wagner's simple life?" “Think it's a good thing for people who have ume to practice it.” comicbooks.com