Life — December 3, 1904 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE REG'LAR ARMY MAN. He ain't no gold-lace Ter sparkle in the sun. He don't parade with gay cockade, And posies in his gun; He ain't no “pretty soldier boy,” So lovely, spick and span; He wears a crust of ‘tan and dust, The Reg'lar Army mar The marchin’, parch Pipe-clay starchin’ Reg’lar Army man. Ividere,”” He ain't at home in Sunday-school, Nor yet at social tea, And on the day he gets his pay He's apt ter spend it free; He ain't no temp'rance advocate, He likes to fill the can; He's kinder rough, an’ maybe tough, The Reg'lar Army man; The rarin’, tearin’, Sometimes swearin’, Reg'lar Aimy man, No State'll call him “noble son,” He ain't no ladies’ pet, But, let a row start anyhow, They'll send for him, you bet He don’t cut any ice at all In Fashion's social plan; He gits the job to face a mob, The Reg’lar Army man; The millin’, drillin’, Made fer killin’, Reg’lar Army man. They ain't no tears shed over him When he goes off ter war; He gits no speech nor prayerful “preach” From Mayor or Governor; He packs his little knapsack up And trots off in the van, Ter start the fight and start it right, ‘Lire Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E The Reg'lar Army man; The rattlin’, battlin’, Colt or Gatlin’, Reg'lar Army man. He makes no fuss about the job, He don't talk big or brave; He knows he's in ter fight and win, Or help fill up a grave: He ain't no “mamma's darlin’,” but He does the best he can, And he's the chap that wins the scrap, A MAN WHO WAS SEIZED BY A CHILL CALLED THE DOCTOR, WHO GAVE MIM A PILL, THR CHILL WENT AWAY, BUT RETURNED THE NEXT DAY WITH THE DOCTOR, WHO CAME WITH A BILL, The Reg'lar Army man; The dandy, handy, Cool and sandy, Reg’lar Army man. —Joe Lincoln, in the Manila (P. 1.) Sunday Sun. A ovet illustration of the saying, “Listener never hear any good of themselves,” comes from the London Tatler, An Oxford don, more highly esteene! for intellectual activity than modesty, was asked 1) speak into a pkonograph. A little later the machine was turned on agai, and he was requested to listen to his own voice, He listened in silence, then turned to the coe pany. “It is very strange!” he said, in a tone of mingied| surprise and resentment. “I can't understand it, ber through this machine I am made to speak is a peculiarly bumptious and affected manner!” FILIPINOS LETTER TO HIS EMPLOYER. Specimen of a jipino’s letter to his employer an excuse for his failure to attend to his duty x the appointed time: “Dear Sir: “Excuse I am shame very much to you this mor for my promise this noon. Would like Monés; ning 8 o'clack I will be on the office Your Sir; Another one: “Mr. Mackenzie: “Iam very sorry that I could not go in our ofce because Iam very ill from Sunday night untell noe, so you give me big excuse. Very truly your boy,” e The latter is not at all bad, and compares fa ably with the Tagalog language as written by th average American,—Manila Sun, Mars, Casey: ‘Tis a shame, Mrs, Cassidy, for yer husband to come home drunk the way he docs. It hurts me to see it. Mrs. Cassiov: I don’t doubt it, Mrs. Casey. Ye always wuz ay an invious disposition.—Philodelphis Press. 7 Tue Boston Globe remarks that the Democrat party has made President Roosevelt a man of pexe It might have added that President Roosevelt has ¢ much toward making the Democratic party a party of unrest.—The Kansas City Journal. Pastor (to the convert): laws of the church? “I do, Pastor (to the congregation): Then let us ps for this person.—Harvard Lampoon. Do you believe in the for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International News WILSON WHISKEY That’s All! Persons who have made the subject of eating and drinking a study find a striking object-lesson in every bottle of Evans’ Ale the perfection of which marks the superlative degree in ale brewing and bottling. Everywhere, England, AGests, | ree Restauran's, Clubs, Cafis and Dealers GRAND PRIZE (the highest bonor) AWARDED TO ESTERBROOKS Steel Pens AT THE St. Louis Exposition San Francisco-Four Days from New York or Boston—By New York Centra ty The a eal tats “Mi an an Toe : comicbooks.com