Life, 1904-11-17 · page 9 of 24
Life — November 17, 1904 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Main Content: "The Constant Reader"** This is a satirical poem by Stephen Leacock critiquing poorly-written adventure novels popular in the early 20th century. The cartoon illustrations show a character (likely representing the exhausted reader) in striped pajamas, progressively more disheveled as he consumes these books. Leacock mocks narratives with absurd titles like "Traps I Have Set" and "Beasts I Have Tried to Elude," and complains about Scottish novels filled with dialect and unconvincing sailor stories. The satire targets low-quality pulp fiction's prevalence and readers' tolerance for it. **Bottom Section:** A contest announcement asking readers whether Christmas presents are "a blessing or a nuisance," offering fifty dollars for the best 500-word answer. It's positioned as addressing adults only, with Santa's approval—a humorous editorial feature typical of Life magazine's interactive content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Constant Reader. ROM the books that appear In the course of the year Iturn with decided ennui, And a feeling of strain At the back of the brain. Is it something in them or in me? ‘Those historical tales Of Old France and Old Wales, In days when there never was peace, With terrific attacks Made by Otto the Axe On Guido the Gimlet of Nice,— T read that collection With just one reflection, — Thank Heaven, we have the police! Nor can I endorse The remarkable course Of some recent narratives rude, Where the writer takes jaunts ‘To the animals’ haunts And shows us their life in the nude ; Such as, ‘¢ Traps I Have Set,” Or ** Bears I Have Met,” Or “ Beasts I Have Tried to Elude.” ‘There's the nautical tale, Where they keep ‘' making sail,"— A ludicrous statement, if true, Implying that sailors Are amateur tailors, With no occupation in view, Then in dangerous cases, They just shift their braces.” It’scalled “a tight squeeze,” when they do. ‘They've a skipper who rages Through two hundred pages, Profanely abusing the crew; He won't give them enough Of the poorest plum duff,— A mutiny’s bound to ensue. But the skipper stays drunk In his eighteen-inch bunk, Just letting the mutiny “+ brew.” More than all do I watch For the novel in Scotch ; Its merit I freely admit. It only needs telling With rational spelling To make a miraculous hit ; But when I sce ‘ braw,” “Unco guid,” “hoot awa," I get indigestion and quit. I think if we saw A new criminal law, ‘That if anyone enters the ranks Of those who write fiction And perpetrates diction, Apparently Gaelic or Manx, The offense every time Is a capital crime, The law would be greeted with thanks, Stephen Leacock, ARE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS A BLESSING OR A NUISANCE? FOR the best answer to this question, contained in five hundred words or less, Live will give fifty dollars. Correspondents may treat the subject in any way they prefer. As our question applies only to adults, it meets with the Sull approval of Santa Claus. comicbooks.com