Life — November 10, 1904 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

460 horse-power Slaughterer and Allie Dollarmark in his five horse-power Smasher. They were coming neck and smell past Forty-second Street, with Billy breathing hard, having just run through a hansom cab, when som opened a bottle of champagne in the Waldorf, which diverted Allie’s atten- tion long enough for him to give his machine a convulsive clutch. This caused Billy Bonder to win the race, Allie putting in a protest that wasn’t allowed, on the ground that the wine was last year’s vintage. The cup is ten feet high, made by Biffany and Company. It represents a lifesize bas-relief of Reggie Asterbilt, in the act of tossing off a cocktail, seated in his new Merciless Murderer, now on its way from Paris. The cup will have to be won three times, how- ever, before its ownership is permanent. Arrangements are now being made to have the next race on Broadway at the hour when all the common people are going to work. The steward of the Automobile Club, when interviewed, said : one “This race seems to demonstrate that the small car of minimum horse- power, while perhaps not capable of running over so many victims success fully, is better able to win. First, it can rush through smaller holes, and second, it is capable of just as much smell as a larger car.” The total results of the race, uptothe hour of going to press, are as follows That the hospitals have never done such a large business. ‘That the ordinary cabs and carriages still used in New York are " y behind the times, few of them being able to get out of the way, That the gossip of the clubs, which has lately lagged lamentably, has a fresh start. That the authorities are still with us, and the Automobile Club of America is all right. Unpreparedness. It is doubtful whether London or the St. Petersh Government, to say gothing of Germany and France, will be prepared to dis: cuss disarmament at a second Peace Congress, Foreign Advices Tits is unpre- paredness in- deed, y) A governmentis, a after all, the stew- ard of humanity in *LIFE: the broad sense, and as such has its obligations. If governments are not prepared, with talk as cheap as, possibly cheaper than ever before in the history of civilization, to discuss any old thing that may be broached, they have been distinctly derelict. It is a barren people which does not supply more elements of statesmanship than can be used to ad’ age in the prosecution of war. Not only, there- fore, does the holding of Peace Con- gresses not interfere with the higher national activities, but it affords em- ployment for talents that would other- wise be unemployed. However, those persons who favor the augmentation of the Cabinet by a Ministry of Peace probably go too far, since this would place peace officially ona footing of equality with war. It were in better proportion to have a Bureau of Peace, under the Ministry of Agriculture, say, or to combine a Bureau of Peace with the Weather Bureau to form a Ministry of Jokes. IRST SOCIETY LEADER: How long have they been separated ? Seconp S. L.: Oh, ever since they've been married. “ALL NATURE SEEMED TO SMIL Business. r, this country should have the biggest navy in the world; I'd like to see a new warship christened every day. “You're a naval man, I presume.”” “No, sir; I'm a wine agent.”” ‘ALSE modesty is not easy to de- fine with precision, but where modesty stands in the way of the writ- ing and publishing of any book which will sell, it is certainly false to the spirit of the age. He: OUR MARRIAGE MUST HAVE BEEN MADE IN HEAVEN. “BUT MY DRESSMAKER'S BILLS ARE PAID ON EARTH, DEAR.” comicbooks.com