Life, 1904-10-20 · page 16 of 20
Life — October 20, 1904 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Life magazine (a satirical weekly) contains several pieces of social commentary typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Star"** — A poem mocking theatrical actresses, questioning whether their beauty, charm, and apparent wealth are genuine or merely stage illusions. It satirizes the superficiality of theater culture and warns that fame is temporary. **The wedding journey anecdote** — A humorous dialogue between a mother and aunt about newlyweds who chose to read Stevenson's "Travels with a Donkey" on their honeymoon—implying they lack romantic sensibility or sense of humor. **Ponce de Leon reference** — A joke about the mythical fountain of youth, suggesting it's merely theatrical makeup (rouge and burnt matches). **Motor car commentary** — A serious editorial observation that high-speed automobiles will eventually require dedicated roadways, predicting future traffic problems. **"Cullud gemmen" dialogue** — A racial humor piece featuring African American characters discussing heat, using dialect humor typical of the era's stereotypical representations. The page reflects turn-of-the-century concerns about modernization, entertainment, and social pretense.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE STAR. Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are, At the footlights bright and gay, Having all your own sweet way. How I wonder if the paint On your cheeks ce If your slit Will look Aa How 1 wonder if that smile, Which you use Turns it When your pat sow faints rs, trim and neat, by on your feet n to beguile, yan ugly sneer sare not near. How I wonder if your zems, From your crown to fluffy hems, Are but glass beads, cent apiece, Borrowed on a broker's lease. How I wonder if you feel, After all, that life is real; If you say, when you are free: “Oh, what fools these mortals be! Twinkle, twinkle, little star, While your assets are on par; Soon you'll find some other orb ar homage will absorb, Soon you'll find your sweetest self Snugly laid upon the shelf. Make your hay while eyes are bright; Twinkle, twinkle, all the night. —Chicago Record-Herald. NOT A GUIDE-B00K The house had quieted after the wedding. The old shoes had been pi:ked up and the rice swept from the piazza some one was packing the gifts, and somebody else took down the drooping ferns, mother and Aunt Mary were in the parlor, talking it over. They sat on the sofa, and were, as one of the giggling children reported, after looking through the doorway, “holding hands.” For Aunt Mary lived three hundred miles away, and she did not come often. *So it's over,” she said, smiling into mother's eyes Lire. is for sale by all “Yes,” said mother, bravely, although a little tearfully, “it's over—and begun. “They'll be happy, I'm sure. “Yes. They are very well suited to each other." Very. I could see that. They both have studious Yes. But, Mary—"" Mother paused, and the gleam of mischief evoked by Aunt Mary sooner than anybody else darted into her eyes. Mary, they can’t have much sense of humor. ‘Though it’s my own girl, I say it.” “Why not??? 1 SEE MY FINISH! “ Do you know what they took to read on their wedding journey? Stevenson's ‘Travels with a Donkey !'"— Youth's Companion Ponce pe Leon had discovered the fountain of youth. “Ain't it simple?" he exclaimed, as he dipped in his finger and tasted the mixturs, “Why, it’s nothing but rouge and burnt matches and a little pink powder!" —Cleveland Leader. My own impression is that the high-speed mos car will eventually have to have a road to itself Motoring is at present in its earliest infancy—no one feel_ much doubt about that. In the natural course of things the speed of cars will increase, and the number of cars will increase yet more. If to day cars traveling at twenty miles an hour 3 serious annoyance and a considerable source of ‘lan ger, matters will certainly be far twenty years hence. If today a twenty-mile speed limit is feit to be an unreasonable and irksome re it will be far more so when the speed possi bilities of cars are greatly increased. Sooner or later it_must follow that special tracks for high-speed motoring will be constructed; and my only wor that there has been no movement already.—London Truth. can worse ten or striction, ler is in that directio “Ow a very hot day recently two ‘eullud gemmen’ were chatting outside my window,” said Alex S. ‘Thweatt, of the Southern Railway; “one was a b mulatto, the other blacker than stove-polish, “How yo" feel, Abe?" asked the mulatto, “*Kind o? warm, Jake,’ answered the darker chap; ‘how's yo'se"f?* “ ‘Right peart, thank yo’ said the mulatto to his ebony-hued friend; ‘but say, Abe, yo" shore do hold yo" color fust rate dis hot weather!" "—Argonau Mrs. Barron was one of the new “summer folk,” and not acquainted with the vernacular, nse: quently, she was somewhat surprised, upon sending an order for a roast of lamb to the nearest bute! to receive the following note in reply: “Dear Mam. 1 am sorry I have not killed myself this week, but I can get you a leg off my brother (the butcher at the farther end of the town). He's full up of what you want. I seen him last night with five legs. Yours respectful. George Gunton."—Youth’s Companion. Poutce Macisteate: How did you manage to ex tract the man’s watch from his pocket when it was provided with a safety-catch? Picxrocxer: Excuse me, your honor, but that a professional secret. I am willing to teach you, however, for ten dollars.—Chicago Daily News. Hoax: They say the Sultan of Turkey scares his wives nearly to death. Joax: Yes; I've always heard that he was a haren:-scarem sort of fellow.—Philadelphia Record. jewsdealers in Great Britain. The International News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. WILSON © WHISKEY That’s All! SIZE 1118 INCHES THE DAINTIEST PICTURE OF THE SEASON “To the Bride” $1.09 postPaio LIFE PUBLISHING CO. 17 West 3lst Street, New York Established 1860 150 Varieties STERBROOKS Steel Pens Sold Everywhere The Best Pens Made and West—Lake Shore Limited—The New York Central. comicbooks.com