Life, 1904-10-06 · page 31 of 38
Life — October 6, 1904 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous story satirizes British bus regulations and social rigidity. A gentleman travels with a bulldog despite conductor rules prohibiting dogs—especially bulldogs—from buses. When the conductor demands removal, the gentleman calmly refuses each escalating threat (ejection, police, summons) with polite deflection, ultimately claiming it's not even his dog and he doesn't know why it sits beside him. The joke targets petty bureaucratic authority figures (the conductor grows "purple with rage") who are powerless against gentlemanly composure and logical absurdity. The unnamed gentleman's unflappable politeness and willingness to call bluffs undermines the conductor's authority. When a third passenger simply whistles and the dog follows him out, the entire conflict dissolves—revealing the conductor's threats were hollow all along. The satire mocks rigid rule-enforcement and class pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| A Bulldog in a ’Bus. LACID but stern, a brindled bulldog sat ina ’bus. In the seat by his side was an gentleman. The conductor came up “Do you mean to tell me,” he said “th you are unacquainted ations forbidding the pre ¢ of dogs in "buses—especially bulldogs?” 9 the passenger, the police re added, eyeing the animal “What of that?” answered the elderly gen The splendid performance of this car on the run from New York to St. Louis places it at the head of its class. The up-to-date moderate- priced gasoline touring car. Scientifically tested. Great reserve, power. Always reliable. he conductor, naturally choleric, like all colleagues, grew purple with rage: “Re move that dog instantly!” he shouted to the passenger, who, perfectly undisturbed, said, | “By no preans.” “[ shall throw the dog ont myself.” “Do so.” | © conductor did not, having caught! ye of the bulldog, who was beginning to interest in the proceedings. “I shall call the police.” the conductor went on “If you like.” an came Fonsicur is surely | ‘that dogs are not} IMMEDIATE DELIVERIES “| dare say they are not,” the placid, elderly gentleman replied “[ request you to remove that dog.” “| shall then take out a summons against st certainly not.” Light, The high-grade, you. Kindly give me your name and address.” | Stylish, low-priced “With pleasure, if you wish it, But on what | asoli ground will you summon me, may I ask?” Speedy. G soline “This is too much. You are defying the law. | Runabout. You will he summoned for bringing a bulldog omnibus.” ancy not, Why did you not explain be- That is not my bulldog, and T have not st idea why it sits beside me,” Engine in front. Bevel gear drive. Wheel steerer. Backed by the Pope reputation for quality. aid the ntleman sweetly. At this the fury of conducto « almost ing nd policeman ticulate. While they were @ to express their feelings, ‘ zan in the omnibus got up suddenly, whistled, BRANES: Naw York—1s Warren St ped out, and the bulldog followed him. | (h nosrorcers Coteau ave. 6 Horse Power, SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.—451 Mission St, PHILADELPHIA, PA.—g09 Arch St. CHICAGO, ILL. —a97 Wells St hour, hardly appre ed the joke.—Paris Cor- nce London Telegraph THRE! year-old Robert was given a tiny pill of homeopathic medicine by his aunt, and liked ji much. He teased for more, h “If I gave it to you it} HIARTFORD CONN. _ ; Members Association Licensed Automobile Mfgr's. WE CLAIM IS BEST— THAT BECAUSE "It is sold straight. It brings the distiller far more price than any other made in the United States. It is hand made, sour mash, and has the best reputation. Our Scotch Whiskies are true Glenlivets; are sold straight. The Souvenir is old. The Bonnie Brier Bush is very old. H. B. KIRK & CoO., New York uke you sick.” What do you take it for, then?” asked He logical Robert "take it to make me well,” answered his Robert net this argument by saying: “I'll t you do, auntie. S'pose you the bottle to make me sick, 1¢ other half to make me well.”— Star, and then y comicbooks.com