Life, 1904-09-08 · page 7 of 20
Life — September 8, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Main Illustration:** A woodcut-style drawing showing an urban street scene with a train on tracks running through what appears to be a destroyed or war-torn city with tall buildings. The composition suggests chaos and destruction. **Content Below:** The page features a humorous advice column titled "Are Three American Women Out of Five Disappointed in Their Husbands?" with a small cartoon of a woman. Life is offering fifty dollars for the best answer in 100 words or less. **"Tuesday P.M." section:** A joke attributed to "VON BLUMER (to Caterby)" about a dog that only barks violently on Tuesdays and Fridays—a nonsensical humor piece. **Poem:** "The Starved, Spangled Bandmen" by Francis Scottigh Kewitchowitsch appears to be a satirical poem about Russian military musicians during wartime.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BUSY TO THE END, om Are Three American Women Out of Five Disappointed in Their Husbands ? FOR the best answer to this question, contained in five hundred words or tess, LIFE will give fifty dollars. Correspondents may treat the subject in any way they prefer, humorously or seriously. All communications to be addressed to the Editor of Lire. Tuesday P. M. ON BLUMER (to Caterly): man. Don't be afraid, old This dog of mine never barks at a gentle- man (dog barks violently), except on Tuesdays and Fridays, The Starved, Spangled Bandmen. HE Russian military band at Port Arthur plays its regular morning and evening programs, despite the severity of the siege.—From a cable despatch. , say, can you hear in the dawn's carly light What so gladly we heard at the twilight’s last gleamvitch ? Does the bass drumski boom in its resonant might, Does the tubavitch toot with its regular steamvitch ? Though the tromboneski’s blasts in its practicing blare Gave proof through the night that the bandski was there, ©, say, do the starved, spangled bandmen still play, While the Japanese shells whizzovitch o'er the bay ? Though the drumski has lost its best head by a shell, And a bullet has pierced a new hole in the fluteski, Does the band answer back with “ Redelia " as well As it did when the Japs first gave orders to shootski ? “ Hiawatha ” it pealed from a band-stand concealed, And the hot shot of ragtime its rumbles revealed — O, say, do the starved, spangled bandmen still play, While the Japanese shells whizzovitch o'er the bay ? Hark! The strainski that comes through the crash of the bombs ! "Tis the band proving yet that grim war is Old Harry, For the melody made by the toots and tum-tums Is the gallant defiance of ** Good Morning, Carrie!” And the Offskis and Vitches still gallantly blow, While the music is hGrled in the face of the foe. And the starved, spangled bandmen courageously play While the Japanese shells whizzovitch o'er the bay. Francis Scottof{ski Kevitchovitch, ON Boakb JAPANESE FLAGSHIP, OFF PORT ARTHUR, AUG. 11, 1904. comicbooks.com