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Life, 1904-09-01 · page 36 of 38

Life — September 1, 1904 — page 36: what you’re looking at

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Life — September 1, 1904 — page 36: Life, 1904-09-01

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising**, with one notable narrative content piece. The main story is Mark Twain recounting a prank from his apprenticeship as a printer's devil. Young Twain and friends borrowed a skeleton from a druggist (worth $50—substantial money then) to scare a new arrival in town. Their plan backfired: the long-legged newcomer simply sold the skeleton for five dollars and spent the evening contentedly eating candy and playing a jew's harp, utterly unfazed by their scare attempt. The satire targets **youthful overconfidence**: the pranksters expected psychological devastation but encountered indifference instead. The joke's irony—they feared ruining someone financially while actually losing the druggist's expensive property—suggests that good intentions don't guarantee outcomes. The surrounding ads promote period products: Gillette Safety Razors, Velutina Velvet fabric, Allen's Foot-Ease powder, Whitman's Chocolates, and Murray & Lanman's Florida Water cologne. These reflect early-1900s consumer culture.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE Yours to Try for 30 Days We do not ask you to take our word for the wonderful excel- lence of The Gillette Safety Razor We are pertect! to deconstrate to yoa fey acd cu eee Teason send I open 80 fatety Piet Frist, pertain gives you's clean, Safety asor le 24 Racats in icc Each biade gives from ten to thirty shaves withost bother oF attention, 'No Stropping or Honing Noy Bades Invert i oocend You have cal to lather ‘and shay, matter how tender your fats or bow matter bow pervous or unused to eh time your face will bo as ipertect comfort and 8 tedious waits and in ex ors bone wt eatin peer ath yer eae Ask your dealer—it he doesn’t sell tt get him to correspond with us. Anyhow, write for our booklet It's full of interest and FREE. The Gillette Sales Co., 1628 Manhattan Bldg. Chicago Say Ancots and Manatactorers of Hardvware Speciation Ketarenor-Costloental Not Beak, Coisngy; Dua's tod Bredetrets Life Binders — TheStandard velvele LOOK FOR NAME ON SELVAGE GRATEFUL, REFRESHING, DELIGHTFUL THE CENUINE MURRAY & LANMAN’S FLORIDA WATER without exception the very best pertume for the Toilet and the Bath. Chocolates and Confections Rule in their own sweet way over the heart of every lover of fine candy. Sold everywhere. STEPHEN PF. WHITMAN & BON, 1816 Chestnut 6t, Phila, Jhovering on his lips, slipped out anyway, and A Joke That Did Not Pay. ARK TWAIN, at a banquet recently, told the following story of one of .his ap- |prenticeship pranks: “About a thousand years |ago, approximately, I was apprenticed as a |printer’s devil to learn the trade, in common |with three other boys of about my own age. There came to the village a long-legged in- dividual of about nineteen, from one of the interior counties—fish-eyed, no expression, and without the suggestion of a smile—couldn’t have smiled for a sal We took him for a fool, and thought we would scare him to death. “We went to the village druggist and bor- rowed a skeleton. The skeleton did not be- leng to the druggist, but he had imported for the village doctor. The price of the skel- eton was fifty dollars. We borrowed it about nine o'clock at night, and we got this man— | Nicodemus Dodge was his name—to go down out of the way, and then we put it in his] bed. He lived in a little one-storeyed log jcabin in the middle of a vacant lot. We left [him to get home by himself. We enjoyed the result in the light of anticipation, but by-and |by we began to drop into silence “The possible consequences were preying up- ‘Suppose’ that it frightens him into madness, overturns his reason, and sends him screeching through the streets? We shall) spend sleepless nights the rest of our days.’ Everybody was afraid. By-and-by it was forced to the lips of one of us that we had hetter go at once and see what had happened onus. aded down with crime we approached the ut and peeped through the window. That long-legged critter was sitting on the bed with a hunk of gingerbread in his hand, and be- tween the bites he played a tune on a jew’s: harp. There he sat perfectly happy, and all around him were toys and. gimeracks and striped candy. He had gone and sold that [skeleton for five dol lars! “The druggist’s fifty-dollar skeleton was gone. We went in tears to the druggist and] We couldn't have raised We were get- ting board and clothing for the first year, explained the matter that hfty dollars in 250 years. and board for the second year, and both of them for the third year. But the] druggist forgave us.”—Unidentified Exchange. A FEW days ago a gentleman called up his wife by the automatic ‘phone, but! when a voice responded knew there must have been a mistake in the number. The question | he said: “Is supper ready?” “Yes,” replied the unknown lady. “I'm coming up immediately.” I right,” » said she, “but who are you? He hung up the receiver hurriedly.—Ne-| braska State Journal. To Insure Your Perfect Comfort at THE ST. LOUIS EXPOSITION, where the climate and walks are very severe upon the Feet, Remember to Take Along a Box or Two of ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE For Hot, mired. Aching, Swol len Feet. ALLENS. FOOT! EASE INTO YOUR SHOES Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder, comfort discover; new shoes easy. The distinguished English medical authority, the London Lancet, says: Analysis discloses in Allen's Foot-Ease ingre- dients suitable for treating the feet, The pow- der is well adapted for the purpose intended, sinceitisfing and impalpable, with a slippers, velvety feeling to the touch. It, moreover, contains an antiseptic. We have received a list of testimonials in favour of this powder.— cullonsand hot, Sold by all * Dent accept Address, Allen $,Olmsted, Le Roy, It’s the greatest Makes tight or “Ieresistibly \ Delicious.” OND creztety likes « thing pit Wiz te PETERS CHoro. » LATE ue wost popular in all wee Bevataayit1etbe choterst conte. ton ever prodaceda tradof purest ‘comicbooks.com