Life, 1904-09-01 · page 30 of 38
Life — September 1, 1904 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines humor columns with an **Oldsmobile automobile advertisement** disguised as editorial content. **The Advertisement:** The large clock-face image showcases two Oldsmobile models (Standard Runabout at $650 and Light Tonneau at $950), with testimonial text emphasizing reliability and construction quality. The "All the time—On time—Every time" slogan emphasizes dependability—a key selling point for early automobiles, which were still unreliable. **The Humor Columns:** Surrounding the ad are brief jokes typical of Life's satirical style: - A poem about a couple's romantic moment - Puns about automobiles (wives using gasoline to clean clothes; a schoolboy asking for "gas" at the dentist) - Social commentary jokes (about preaching, neighbors' chickens, medical fees) - A story about Judge Meyer ordering lobster when clams weren't available **The Point:** These are genteel, family-friendly jokes reflecting early 1900s concerns—automobiles as novelties, domestic life, class distinctions. The advertisement exploits the editorial space to appear as content rather than mere promotion, a common magazine practice of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OLDS MOBIEE: He held ber little hand in his; They stood thus for a spell, And then she shyly looked at him And said the one word: “Well?” Nay, let us draw the curtain now, Why spy upon them there? She spoke the word, and it was well For that enchanted pair. —Chicago Record-Herald. Tue Sourm vor Hosrrrauity: The Manor, Asheville, | North Carolina, is the best inn South. Booklet. “Rememaee, always,” exhorted the preacher, “that whatever you sow, that also you shall reap.”” ‘Not always,” replied Subbubs; ‘not if your neighbor keeps chickens."—Philadelphia Ledger. When you're ready the Oldsmo! name stands for celiability “AM, $0 you've got an automobile, eh?” No, indeed! My wife's been cleaning my elqthes with gasoline, that’s all!"—Indianapolis Sen- tinel, | Oldsmobile Standard Runabout Price $650 Oxe day as a certain schoolmaster, with aspect fierce and cane upraised, was about to punish one of his pupils, the little fellow said, quite innocently, and doubtless with some vague recollection of a visit to the dentist, “Please, sir, may—may I have gas?”— Pittsburg Bulletin. . i Eeeabera Balle ‘Que of the first things that impresses you regarding the Oliumotiie Light Tonneau Car is the | handsome on stractive enter. The fat ide arouses your eathataum over the combate and con evs trees and the prtat working of the winge These en ore oqipps wiih bub branes Steet ear ee ae toot HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. The ideal hotel of America for permanent and transient | quests, “hack fre.” honeyeamnbed radierr, divided front seat, main bearings are setf-oling. cytaer ‘and cylinder heads are cast imiegral, spark ping end carburetor sccesabte by Biting the ‘buard. These are coly a few of the Gitinet and special features that characterise the Kaiser Wittens says a trip to America under present conditions is too long for him, but that if a| ship is built that will cross the Atlantic in two days | he will visit the United States. The splendid isolation of America is developing new advantages every day.— The New York American Mepicat Examiner: Si oul fatient with some disease which you knew nothing about. What would you do? Stupent: Charge him $ and then send hirf to you.—Nei for the examination, York Weekly, Parke lonesome w Lane: Nobody but a box of Fonseca’s cigars. Anyone with you to keep you from being A uittie friend of mine was spending his vaca- tion in the country with his grandparents. One day not long ago he was walking in the fields with his grandfather, and was surprised to see all the cows chewing their ends. Not understanding what it meant, he exclaimed: “Do you have to buy chewing gum for all them cows, grandpa?"—Albany Journal. OVERHEARD ON THE PIKE. Mr. Easy: Why should people visiting The Exposition at night use more Allen's Foot-Ease than in daytime? Miss Foote: Because under the brilliant illumination of the grounds, every foot becomes an acri “Pair, Only fair! Pray, conduct me to the nearest drug store and I promise never to accept a substitute for you or for Allen's Foot-Ease.”* Ex-Justice Jutivs Maver is a great lover of things that come out of the sea, and while in Chicago attending the Republican convention he sought to in- dulge his taste in a well-known restaurant. He or- dered little-neck clams, and the colored waiter in- formed him that they were out of them. The Judge thought that, in the absence of clams, a broiled lob- ‘Ontenotile Light Tonneau Car Fer farer parce ol po rt agent or write direct to N Olds Motor Works IWS etroit, eros ster might do; but the lobsters, likewise, were out. Soft-shelled crabs was his next choice, but the waiter regretfully informed him that the crabs were also among the absent. “Then why do you keep these things on the bill? Have you any shellfish at all?” the Judge demanded. “Only eggs, sab,” replied the waiter.—Exchange. Tur Democrats were assembled in State conven- tion at Nashville, and were engaged in the organiza- tion of the convention, A former member of the Su- preme Court, who had partaken quite freely, got the floor and proceeded to discuss the questions involved in the temporary organization. Naturally his rea ing was not clear, and one of his friends in a whisper said to him: “Sit down, Judge; yo: know the difference between temporary a manent. You are drunk!" With an effort t steadied himself, and with fine scorn replied: “Yesh. I'm drank. Thash temporary. You're a d—! fool. Thash permanent."”—Argonaut, Cuamtwoa: You can't keep a dog in your new flat? Frosinpa: No, we had to give Fido away: but Frederick had his dear little bark put in our [0% graph.—Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. comicbooks.com