Life, 1904-09-01 · page 11 of 38
Life — September 1, 1904 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains an article titled "Clear the Way!" about a chauffeur hired to drive a car across the American continent at high speed. The piece satirizes reckless early automobile drivers and their disregard for public safety and traffic laws. The article mocks the chauffeur's dangerous driving habits—speeding, endangering pedestrians, and showing contempt for regulations. The editors hired him specifically to demonstrate this problem, arguing that such drivers belong "in jail or shot." The brief dialogue at bottom about aeronauts obtaining insurance appears unrelated, likely transitional content. The small illustration shows cherubs or cupids, possibly decorative rather than integral to the satire. The overall point: early motorists posed genuine public hazards, and their cavalier attitudes toward safety were absurd and dangerous.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*ELEE: CLEAR THE WAY! Life’s Chauffeur on His Remarkable Run Across the Continent. Nobody Spared! A MARVELOUS STORY OF SPEED AND SPUNK. OBJECT OF THE TOUR. OBODY would have suspected that the quiet, self-con- tained young man who presented himself at Lire office last Thursday —in response to our advertisement for an up-to-date chauffeur— was really what we wanted. But, after reading his credentials, we engaged him on the spot. In the first place, he had been employed by some of the richest and most reckless millionaires in the country. One of them wrote: ‘This young man is very competent, and has plenty of nerve. The sight of blood only stimulates him. And he dashes by the officers of the law wholly un- concerned."’ Another wrote: ‘I'm sorry to lose him. But he ran over three ladies last week and has had to conceal himself, though I have a pull with the Judge, and am in hopes to get him back again.”” “You wish a chauffeur?” he said, politely removing his mask. “What is your object — homicide or pleasure ?"* “Stern duty.”” “Stern duty! Then I won't do. I only work for people who consider their own pleasure above everything else." He was about to leave, when we urged him to wait. “Listen,” we said, ‘and we will explain. We believe, sir, that the auto, in a restricted form, has come to stay. But there is so much reckless speeding —such absolute dis- regard for the rights of others, such contempt for law and order—that we really believe in a very short time every chauffeur, every man of wealth, who drives his machine along a road like a locomotive, without thought of anything wn sweet will, is going to be put into jail or shot. ir, we want you to help this movement along.’ “You mean—" “We mean that we will pay you a princely salary to drive a big touring car across the continent at the top speed, regardless of everything. Here's a chance for you to display your nerv William Plunger—for that was the name our chauffeur gave us — hesitated no longer. ‘*Done!" he exclaimed. ‘‘I'll start at once. I haven't driven a car for several hours now, and I'm as nervous as a Where's the machine?" We stuffed his pockets with money and led the way promptly out into the street, where our sixty horse-power auto, with a steel cowcatcher in front, lay waiting for its 207 master. He turned the crank, sprang in, tooted his horn and was off, headed straight for the Pacific coast. The following dispatches indicate the progress of the most remarkable and bloodthirsty tour ever made: KINcsBriDGE, 1 Pp. M.—Stopped here for a bite—also to mend puncture, That cowcatcher is great. Wonder why I never thought of it before. Ranover several dogs, and unhorsed a policeman on awheel. Didn't have time to look back, but hope I did him, These chaps are too fresh, anyway. Plunger. Po'KEEPSIE, 2 P, M.—In the last thirty minutes I have frightened four old women into fits, split a farmer's wagon, crippled three chil dren, and came near breaking one of my cylinder heads, Send mea thousand dollars more at Albany and a new set of wrenches, 1 enclose my photo— with goggles on so they won't know me. Plunger, UTICA, 4 P.M. (From Life's Special Correspondent,—A big yellow and green touring car, with a steel cowcatcher in front, passed through here this afternoon. A fiend in human shape was driving it. Reports from the south country districts are just coming in, and popular indignation is at its height. It seems that the driver of this car is the most reckless one ever scen in these parts, which is saying a great deal. He seemed to have absolutely no regard for any one, and though shot at several times, escaped unhurt. The local magis- trate, when interviewed, shrugged bis shoulders. * Probably some rich New Yorker,” he said shrewdly. (To be continued.) IRST AERONAUT: Couldn't you get the insurance company to give you an accident policy ? Seconp Arronaut: No. They found out I was going to give up my business and settle in New York. OWEVER doubtful we may feel about the past, we are always sure of the future. comicbooks.com