Life — August 25, 1904 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE- 191 “A GARDEN RAKE” The Diary of a Conductor. ONDAY: To-day is one of the proudest ones of my life. I have been promoted from the New Haven local to the Boston express. My wages are still the same. The Superintendent says they will be, as the directors now have hard work to make both ends meet. But the respon- sibility isgreater. I make my first run at noon to-morrow. Tuespay: I bad to laugh to-day. About twenty min- utes before my train was ing his wife and three little children off to Hartford attempted to pass the gate. He had tickets for his family, but, of course, none for himself, ‘* You can’t get through here,"” said the ticket chap. “ But I want to see my family placed on the train.” “«'Gainst the rules of the company,” said the ticket chap. ‘The man was red-headed. . “1 suppose this is the company’s idea of accommodating the public,’ said the man. “ Exactly id the ticket chap. ‘‘ We can’t be bothered with people seein’ their friends off. It's bad enough to put up with the irritatin’ ways of some of you passengers, any- way," he added with a cynical leer. ‘Come, now, don't block the entrance."" The man went off and bought a ticket for himself, and then, of course, the ticket chap had to let him through. That was what I call a low trick to play. something, anyway. Wepsespay: Beastly hot to-day. Going through the tunnel the brakeman caught a man with an open window. “Close that window,” he said. “Can't get it down,”’ said the man. And he couldn't. It took three of us to do the trick. Something must be done about some of these car windows. There isn't a car on the road that’s less than twenty years old, but still the windows ought to beeasy. Probably they have gotten jammed with soot and need a chimney sweep. Tuvurspay; Woman fainted to-day from suffocation just after we left Grand Central, I had to wait ten min- utes before I could punch her ticket. There was a fresh chap with her. He was fairly insulting. due to start, a man who was see- _ But it cost him “This is a great system,"’ he yelled at me. ‘‘ You put your old superannuated cars out in the yard and let ‘em take in the sun until they are red-hot. Then you run ‘em into the station, jam 'em full of passengers, through a dark hole that isn’t fit for a galley-s' I knew he was right and felt like telling him so, but didn’t care to lose my job. When I spoke to the Superin- tendent about it afterward, he said: ‘* We can’t pay atten- tion to these things. Why, if we did, it would take up all our time, Besides, the public know they'll have to submit." Fripay: A fellow in one of the forward cars wouldn't give me his ticket to-day because he couldn't get a seat. ‘* Plenty of seats in the rear," said I, And I chased him back through the train about a half a mile to the rear car, which I hadn't put on till the last minute, when the rest of the train was jam full. The Superintendent has given me strict orders never to put on an éxtra car until the aisles of the other cars are crowded. Saturpay: Yesterday I applied for some accident in- surance, and the agent was just about to make out my ap- plication, when he said : “What's your business ? “Tam aconductor onthe New York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad,” said I, in my usual haughty manner, “ Not on your life,” said the agent. Another Idol Shattered. HAT was the matter with Magistrate Cornell? Did the terrible words of the President of the ‘* Auto- mobile Club of America "’ scare him? Lire was sorry to see this Magistrate “crawl,” but it is time, perhaps, for United States Judges to realize that the will of the ** Automobile Club of America" is to be re- spected, and no words about it, either. However, we regret this Magistrate's abasement, as the general public was beginning to entertain for him the admiretion that often follows the man with a spine. Some compensation comes in the action of Judge Dun- well of the Supreme Court, who, according to The New York Herald, * signaled a big automobile to slow down, but no attention was paid, The horses grew panicky and Mrs. Dunwella trifle excited, at which the Judge jumped out of the carriage, and, standing at the head of the horses, signaled more vigorously for the chauffeur to slow up, No attention was paid to this. Judge Dunwell was thoroughly angry, and he reached down and seized several large stones. Then, planting himself squarely in the road, he awaited the arrival of the ‘red devil.’ But it did not crme. The chauffeur saw danger ahead and he brought his machine to a standstill on the side of the road.” But it is not always safe to leave one’s carriage. shall we doin that case? Use a revolver? What ** T SEE Bilkins lost all his money in Wall Street that he made in his book !"" ‘What was the name of his book?"’ “ It was called A Guide to Wall Street." Ccomicbooks.com