Life — August 4, 1904 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He's an that towed me in told me. e glistened. “IT tell you, my dear, that's one of the greatest things about automobiling. It shows better than anything else, how people are ready to help their fellow- creatures."" “Umph!"’ said Mrs, Von Blumer, “he’s probably been caught himself so many times that he knows how it feels."* “Now if that isn't just like a woman," snapped Von Blumer. ‘*Al- ways a pessimist. Never a true sport. Always looking for trouble,» But wait until we get those new batteries in. I'll show you what the Roadrun can do.” He almost ran into the house in his new excitement—an excitement his wife had not seen in years. Then en- sued a hurried conversation over the telephone, from which he emerged in a few moments, his face wreathed in smiles. “Man's coming right up from the re- pair shop,”’ he chuckled, ‘with a com- plete new set of batteries and about a mile or so of covered wire. My pet, just have a little patience, It won’t be long now before we'll be imitating the birds of the air.” They went out on the piazza and sat down, waiting for the repairman to come. In front, the new machine, glossy and beautiful, stood asif waiting to spring into life. Suddenly Von Blumer's expectant eye fastened on-a figure coming along the street. $ It was Caterby, his next-dow: neigh- dor. If there was anything that Caterby hated, it was an automobile. “You might as well,” Von Blumer had often heard him say, ‘‘run a locomotive through the streets. Von Blumer turned to his wife. A sudden fear possessed him. ‘Here comes Caterby he claimed. ‘‘Say, we mustn’t let him know there's anything the matter with our auto. He'll guy the life out of me. “T thought you said there wasn't anything the matter with it,’ respond- ed Mrs. Von Blumer. “There isn’t, of course; only those batteries. Let ec; we can tell him ex- "EES we're waiting for the cool of the even- ing. But, oh Heavens! Ifhesces that repair man working on it in the street, what'll he say? Here he comes. Mum's the word.” Caterby paused in front of the house. First he looked at the machine, then at the Von Blumers. “Ab!” he ejaculated, noon, Whose is it?" “Mine,” said Von Blumer. Caterby grinned—a fiendish, malig- nant smile. “So you've got the fever?” he said. “Well, I'm sorry for you.”’ You'll be sorry for me all right,” said Von Blumer, ‘when you see me skipping about the country, just wher- ever I want to go.” Caterby sneered in a polite, neigh- borly manner. He was by nature a skeptic. Besides, he loved a horse. I'll see you later,” he remarked sententiou: “Why aren't you out now? I'll bet it’s busted already.” Von Blumer contrived to motion se- cretly to his wife. He felt that all the lying ought to be done by himself ex- clusively. “To be candid with you, old man he said, with a confidential air—im- plying by his manner that there might be something wrong, in order to bring in his climax— ‘there ¢s something the matter.’ *T knew it, is it?" “It'sthis,” said Von Blumer. ‘I'm trying to get my breath. I came out from the station so deuced fast that I'm really afraid to go out init again. I hayen't gotten thoroughly familiar with it, so I'm going to wait until the cool Ot the evening.” “Cat@rby turned into his own gate, “Well, old fellow,’’ he observed, “T wish you joy. But all the same I'm sorry for you." And he disap- peared. Mrs. Von Blumer turned appeal- ingly to her husband. Being a true woman, she felt a certain amount of responsibility for him. She felt that she must stand by him. “If he sees that repair man, what will he sa; she asked, “T know it,” said Von Blumer, ‘It will be impossibleto explain. But I'll tell you what. I'll have the repair man ‘*Good after- said Caterby. ‘What 421 put in those batteries after dark.” “But Mr. Caterby might pass by or see him then."* “Then I'll get that machine up the toad first and into the barn.” “You can’t do it yourself.” “But I can get help.” So Von Blumer telephoned again to have the man come with the batteries about nine o’clock, and when the shades of evening fell, he and the hired man went silently out into the street, while Caterby was concealed in his house. And they pulled and tugged and worked like galley slaves, until at last, by a supreme effort, the two thousand pounds of machinery on wheels had been slowly trundled into a place of seclusion. At ten o'clock the repairman came— at double rates—and put in a new set of batteries. Then he gave the crank a few de- cisive turns, and, lo, “chug,” “ chug,” the auto was once more alive. ‘Von Blumer’s exultation knew no bounds. “There !"’ he cried, as he followed his wife upstairs to get a few hours’ much-needed rest. ‘* Now we're off. I told you there was nothing the matter with that machine. It is the safest and surest in the world, To-morrow morn- ing we'll start off bright and early and take a spin of forty or fifty miles.” The next morning, after breakfast, Von Blumer preceded his wife to the barn. He was arrayed in a brand-new, glistening automobile cap; on his hands was the latest thing in gloves. Von Blumer opened the back of the car with the air of an expert. He un- screwed two plugs and dipped in a long, thin piece of whalebone, “What are you doing now?" asked Mrs. Von Blumer. ‘‘ Measuring the gasoline and water. That's all you need. A cent a mile for gasoline and water at nothing, Then here are a few trifling places to oil.” “ Aren't you afraid you'll spoil those gloves?” Even as she spoke a lot of black oil squirted out of some hidden spring and covered her husband's hands. He smiled brightly. “Nothing !"" he observed.‘ Abso-