Life, 1904-04-07 · page 31 of 41
Life — April 7, 1904 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and paid content**, not editorial satire or political cartooning. The main feature is "The Meanest Railroad Contest"—reader submissions describing terrible experiences on American railroads. Entry #9 describes a filthy, uncomfortable train journey with no sleepers; Entry #10 sardonically notes the T.I. & P.R.R. railroad's practice of billing injury victims for surgical treatment (e.g., "For amputating one leg"). The satire here targets **railroad companies' poor service and predatory billing practices**—contemporary grievances about how railroads treated passengers. The humor relies on exaggeration and absurdity (billing for amputation) to criticize real abuses. The surrounding advertisements promote vintage products: Gibson Pyrography (decorative woodburning), Suyler's Candies, Old Crow Whiskey, Deerfield Water, and patent medicines—typical early-20th-century advertising fare.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
«LLP Es GIBSON PILLOW| PYROGRAPHY: FREE-Fer 30 days The Newest this Plush Pillow — Top— idea in Stamped with rce, $1.50. Sue 8125.0 $1.00. Seam cireny bara $2.50. Special Offer s2. 058i? 8? omy $1.80 For burning on plush, leather. ete. Includes fine Cork Hi ber Tubing, Double-Action For tale by your dealer, or sent by nation. Look for this trade-mark when buying Pyrographic Goods, It means quality. Avk for Catalog J-52 68 pages, with 697 MMhustra tions of Gibson and othe many in colors. Shows alt kinds of pyrography outfits and goods at lowest prices, THAYER & CHANDLER 162-164 West Jackson Boulevard, Chicago Largest Makers of Pyregraphy Goods in the World. The bottom layer of a box of / delicious morsels jy and surprises as the top layer. 508 FIFTH AVE. 21W 42nd ST. A Favorite Cough Remedy, For Colds, Sore Throat, Asthma, Catarrh, Usete Great Englisn Remedy a) BLAIR'S PILLSKS “\ paves Mill erature, The Meanest palltoae Contest. NuMBER 9. I WAS once compelled to ride over the C. V. R. R. from New London, Conn., to Burling- ton, Vt, between the setting and the rising of the sun on a certain date; don't ask me why. There is no train tha ing a sleeper. T entered the smoker. ig fumes irom foul pipes were so strong I had to shoulder my way in, The expectoration in the aisle made progress through the car perilous to life and limb. No seat vacant. Well, I had lost my desire to smoke, so it didn’t matter. At last I found a coaldust-begrimed, microbe- infested, gorgeously-red plush seat in a day coach. Pullman or a Wagner on the train. didn’t know, but would find out. Presently he returned and said there were no persons an- swering to those names on the train. At that I sank into my like a dish of ice cream in a July sun. Sleep overpowered me. I dreamed I was in Hades, being jolted over a red-hot corduroy road, in a flaming auto- mobile driven by a grinning red devil Just as we were bumping over a precipice into the brimstone pit, the train stopped with a sudden jolt and a fiendish hissing of leaky air brakes, I felt and with both hands got it squared on my shoulders with regret ¢ not true, after all; they were switching freight cars with our train The somersault drummer say When I came around I was in a hospital The railroad has sued me for damages. In about wildly for my 1 my dream some way station. ast I remember I was doing The third time jamn.” a triple over I heard a turning my somersault I broke three and knocked the front door off the hinges I haven't reached Burlington yet Earl I, Brownson. Havana, Cuna. lamps, 150 Ficuras St, I MBER 10. is undoubtedly the meanest oad in this country ‘or a number years it has made a practice of sending bills for surgical treatment to all victims injured on its lines. For instance, if a man loses a leg on this road, he shortly after receives a bill read- ing: John Jones, To T. 1. & P.R.R,, Dr. For amputating one leg, Please remit and save trouble. They feature this item in their advertising lit- king the stand that their rates are (r° OUCH & ALD Firzeer (61 Frzer 688 BROADWAY. 723 SIXTH AVENUE, I asked the conductor if there was a} He said he} COCKTAIL FACTS About 90% of the Cocktails now drank are cither Manhattans or Martinis; no good bar-keeper uses any bitters but ‘English Orange”’ in Y making them. The “CLUB COCKTAILS,’’ Manhattans and Martinis, are made as they should be with English “Orange Bit- ters,’ are properly aged and are better than any fresh made cock- tail possibly can be. A fresh made cocktail is like a new blend of any kind, unfit for use. Age is what makes a good Punch, age is what makes a good Cor- dial, age is what makes a good blended whiskey, age is what makes a palatable sauce, and above all age is what makes a good cocktail. These statements can be verified by any reputable blender. G. F, HEUBLEIN & BRO., Ste Depriatre 29 Broapway, New Yorx, N. Y. Hartroxp, Cox. Loxpox 200 TOASTS in vest-pocket form—gathered on many journeys, in many climes, by A. Glove- trotter. Rich and rare to wit and homor. Sent postpaid upon recetpt of price, 50c, THE WHITNEY PUBLISHING CO., Clevetand, 0. DEERFIELD A GLASSFUL SWEETENS THE STOMACH AND PREPARES IT FOR ITS DAYS ‘WORK. TRY IT MIXED WITH WINES. , AND LIQUORS AT CAFE OR CLUD. ITIS"BOTTLED SUNSHINE” AND OLD CROW RYE aie WHISKEY ocd iS ee comicbooks.com