Life — April 7, 1904 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ss OUR FOOLISH (ONTEMPORARYE OPINIONS. A gentleman is never drunk, It's such a vulgar word: To say a gentleman Is drunk Is really quite absurd. He may be pifflicated, piffed, Bazooned and ple : (I've bad an edge on once or twice, And so, I guess, have you.) He may be plastered, boozed and passed, But finer natures shrunk, And shrink, and will shrink evermore, From saying, “He ts drunk!” —Yate Record. DID IT HANOSOMELY. “When my wife's rich annt gave us our piano,” sald ® happy benedict the other day, “we were delighted, though neither my wife nor I can play anote. Now she sends us an Angelus, and our little home ts a regular Paradise.” “I Wasy’r always In this condition,” said the ossified man in the dime museum. “How did it n?" asked the obese lady. girl once ¢ the marble heart, and it explained the hardened freak.—Chi THE MOTHER'S FRIEND when nature's supply fails, is Borden’ Condensed Milk. It is a cow's milk adapted to in- You see them wherever you go, fants, according to the highest scientific methods. They go wherever you see them. “Don't be too quick to strike another, my boy, For business or pleasure, in rain or sunshine, the pioneer kindly old man, who had Interrupted the nt ten before you do it, and runabout has no equal. It is always ready. It represents the Yeh." repiied the boy, contemptuourly, “an latest and best in automobile construction—the product of the so bhlbdelohn bese ci on largest automobile plant in the world. 4// roads alike to the Oldsmobile. Bont 1): Yes, I'm a perfect mar. Price, $650. tyr to insomnia I ever heard | of, but I simply c For full information regarding our several models see our nearest sales agent, or A Did you write direct. A captivating and beautfully illustrated automobile story “Golden Gate to if after to bed? Hell Gate” will be sent upon receipt of a two-cent stamp. Address Dept. J. Olds Motor Lies Reetne >. Works, Tenneay Car Price 330 Detroit, U.S. A, without rear J seat $850 then cer (suppressin Daily ~ Member of the HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON . ¢ Association of The Ideal hotel of America for permanens and ent ie transtent guests, Manufacturers: n,”” said the interviewer you Intend t “Well, well,” repl how rumor the fact that I attended church with my wife last Sunday.""—Philadetphia Press. AwpOrT’s ANOOSTCRA BITTERS has the call wherever ‘an effective tonic for & run-down system ts needed ; builds up flesh and nerve tissue. Druggists. | Patronize American industries. that you are very fond of | Wear a should befreshly made, and should con usua ed the pre Wait tll TL have the books tain that most delightful, aromatic to! swered the prima donna, with characteristic bust- , ness foresight. “If the profits are more than $ ) E 5 000 you may say that I love America; if they are ‘ e less, you may say I consider the country very lack- ing In refinement.”—Washington Star H T | f S U " a glowing eulogy of bis employer t deceased- : making use of this remarkable ¢ te: “His the creation par excellence of the The Bitters that gave birth to the Cocktail keen preception and indomitable will led him into nation. the grocery and feed business, and subsequently in- a | THE BEST APPETIZER duced him to embark in the coal business."—Ar- Acencies in all the principal cities in the world. | J. W. Wuppermann, 29 Broadway, New York. gonaut, comicbooks.com