Life, 1904-03-10 · page 15 of 20
Life — March 10, 1904 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous article satirizing wealthy Americans' obsession with expensive pedigree dogs. The text mocks the impracticality of dog ownership for delicate men—describing how a high-strung dog will disrupt sleep, shed on furniture, and require constant, expensive care (trained nurses, dog doctors, weekly hair-dressers). The jokes target class pretension: bulldogs cost "a thousand dollars" and require hiring detectives to verify pedigree. The author sardonically notes that only "one more honest man in the country than a horse dealer" sells bulldogs—suggesting widespread fraud. The accompanying cartoons illustrate the absurdity: one shows a small man overwhelmed by a dog, another depicts office chaos (likely from the poem-submission joke about getting a black eye). The satire's point: spending lavishly on dogs as status symbols is ridiculous, yet wealthy people will happily spend far more on dogs than their own children. The tone is gently mocking of upper-class excess.
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The Dog. ‘YF you are a small man with a cate constitution that nes exercise, an active aud growing eping do; are of a sensitive, high- strung dog with a long pedigree and hair and a delicate stomach will be a source of constant rec- reation. As you hear the patter of his footsteps on the stairs at two in the morning, and bis merry bark in the hallway, you will have a deep sense of security, and anon as he curls up on your brand-new Daven- port couch and sheds his hair on its plush coat, you will feel that the joy of life has been doubly increased. The best way to do is to begin on one dog first and increase the number gradually. Perhaps the bulldog is the best for a begin- ning. A good, serviceable, invalid bulldog can be had for about a thousand dollars. Be- fore buying him secure the services of a shrewd detective to run down his pedigree. There is only one more honest man in the country than a horse dealer, and that is the man who sells you a bulldog. To be the real thing a bulldog should have the following points: Both his legs and his face should be bow-legged, and you should be able to draw a cork with his tail, His forehead should begin just beneath — his palate, and if you could ride him horse- back, you should be able to see his tecth. He should have enough superfluous skin to “AVE You SCRMITTED THIS POEM TO ANY ONE ise?” So, ste THEN WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BLACK EYE!" aside and lie on a uny time, thus saving the expense of a rug. Xt to the bulldog is the noble dachshund, who comes in sections. The dachshund is a cold-blooded human being and burrows under sofa cushions with great delight. Nothing is so pleasant, when you p into bed late at night, as to find that it has been warmed up for yon by your faithful dachshund. If you are not a member of society and do not have to have a Boston terrier, get a cocker spaniel uiext, engaging a hair-dresser at a weekly salary to come with him. This will save you an hour or so a day Always remember that dogs need a little care. Arise at four in the morning and give them an hour or so of much-needed exercis After a bath or a rub-down, a hearty breakfast should be followed by a long nap. If they get ill at any time, send for a trained nurse and a dog doctor. ¥ WERE WALKING ONE COL SLIDE RY NtCTS SHE ADMITS BEING STOUT, -_ a nite reuinaws=rnecieruioun= By this time yon will love them better than your own children, and expense will be no object. Noes nT is ue CLAIM. 18 Tom Masson. comicbooks.com