Life, 1904-02-18 · page 9 of 26
Life — February 18, 1904 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical piece by H. H. Slayland featuring a well-dressed man (identified by his motto "Dividends and Discomfort") addressing children about life lessons. The speaker appears to be a railroad executive or transit company president, based on the streetcar illustration he displays. The satire targets corporate exploitation: the speaker cynically justifies overworking motormen and conductors to maximize profits ("dividends"), dismissing complaints about their harsh conditions. He frames this abuse as necessary and inevitable, asking children rhetorically whether life without dividends is worth living. The cartoon mocks how industrial capitalists rationalize worker mistreatment to shareholders and the public, presenting greed as justified economic principle rather than exploitation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE = Heart to Heart Talks. By H. H. Staveann. De Children : It's a great thing to be a great man like me, but it is greater still to hear what a great man like me bas to say. And I am going to talk to you as if there was no one else present but you and all the rest of the world, because I think you ought to know the secret of my life. Has any little boy or girl present ever known what it is to suffer? Probably not, as you are young yet. But some day you will ride on my closed cars in the summer, and my open cars in the winter, and then you will know. This is the secret of success, dear children—to provide the public with what they don’t want when they cannot help taking it. Of course you all k that Lam President of one of the largest street car lines in the world—a line that probably subjects its women passen- gers to more indignities and its men passengers to more nervous tension than any other. But perhaps you do not know, dear children, that I am responsible for this—that is, I and the other di- rectors, Does any little boy or girl know what a director is? A director is a financier who is actuated by two mo- tives—to make as much money as possible, and never to admit that he is wrong. Our motto is “Dividends and Discomfort.” Let me ask you another question. Have you ever heard your parents, when they have been riding on one of my cars, complain of the insolence of the conductor or the indifference of the motorman? Ah,I thought so. Well, now, I don’t want to tell you that your parents are ever wrong, but I must do so in this case. Because, dear children, my motormen and condactors are not to blame. The motorman has to be on time, in spite of everything, and if he doesn’t, he knows he will got punished. And the conductor, who is tired to death all the time, has so much more to do than he ought to, that he is not responsible. You see, dear little children, it has to beso. For if the conductors and motormen were not overworked and made to drive along the cars at full speed, regardless of every one, why, our dividends would suffer. And what is life without dividends? Some day, maybe, we shall have to put on more comfortable cars; some Vet day we shall have to consider whether “ Our motto ts * Dividends and Discomfort.’ comicbooks.com