Life — January 7, 1904 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE- 17 THE MEANEST RAILROAD UNITED STATES. IN THE certain railroads in the United States are mean in /| their treatment of passengers. Some railroads are said ii to be meaner than others. Lire has an active curiosity to know just which one of the railroads in the United States is the meanest, and why. \ With this in mind, it offers to its readers a prize of One Hundred Dollars for the cleverest presentation of the charge of meanness submitted according to the following conditions, which please read carefully : CONDITIONS. No contribution must exceed three hundred words in length. In making the award of the prize brevity will be taken into consider- ation. he editors of Lire shall be the judges of the merits of the con- tributions, and their decision shall be final. Contributions should have the name and address of the sender. Under no condition will they be returned The compet MM, and no contributions received after that date will be entitled to compete for the prize ion will close March 15, 1 Literature 4 la Mode. Orrice or The Literary Bandon, HE EDITOR: next number? Tue Assistant Eprtor: Frontispiece, picture of you holding the new encyclopedia we're get- ting out. “Very good. Pat an ad. of my book of verse on the back of it. What's next? “ About twenty pages of literary comment. Scribblesby is looking up the anecdotes in the Library of Wit and Humor, aud Grinds is getting the biographies and com- ments of our authors down-stairs ia the publishing depart- ment.”’ ‘* That's O. K. I read something last night that Tolstoi said to some one or other. Put it down to George Ade. [ll give it to you later. What special articles have you?” “There's one on Colonel Scrubolio, the soap man, He's just written a historicai novel of King Charles's time, which we're publishing. Besides, he is going to give us a two-page ad. for the next issue.” “Try to get a reference in it to the article on soap in the encyclopedia. I wrote it. We might be able to get an ad from that. What else? a, “ Article by Well, what have we got for the called it ‘ Literary Ideas.’ Hacker is writing it.” “All right. Tell him to use a few quotations from my book of essays.”” “Yes, sir. We have a lot of book reviews besides."’ ** All our books?” FE has heard it insinuated from time to time that /f eee “All except one. Two-page review of Assyrian Phi- tology, published by Sharpers about ten years ag “Splendid! How have you got the best selling books arranged?" . “First, our Lady Susabelle, and second, my historical novel, Bouny Graf Ieinrich, It isn’t published yet, bat it will be a fine ad. You can have third, if you want. Fourth and fifth, I gave to Snappletons and Makebillions, for page ads. I've rounded the number off with one of my poems. Tue Eprror: Allright. Tue Assistant Epitor : Sign my name to it. Aye, aye, sir. Herbert 1,, Stein, The Superlative. HAVE looked over the whole field,” said the young author, ‘and the only thing that pays is a good novel “Wrong again,” said the philosopher. “ What pays better ?” said the author. “A bad novel,” said the philosopher. Hints to Hostesses. Dost engross the conversation yourself. If the conversation isn’t gross enough, ask one of the débutantes to tell a story. At your age, you owe it to yourself to be womanly. By being womanly, one may still be a freak after she has ceased to be either beautiful or brainy. comicbooks.com ~