Life — December 31, 1903 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ANOTHER AMERICAN PERIL, [London Truth suggests that a protective tariff be imposed upon all matrimonial importations of American heiresses.] Our girls—they formerly were mild, Apologetic creatures— As harmless as a little child— With sootbing. gentle features, They used to be described as meek ‘As any dove, and falrer— Alas! That Londoners should speak Of them as England's terror! Why should the Britons tremble thus, If heiresses are willing, To have the coin they take from us Reduced to pound and shilling? ‘When one has pledged her hand and heart It certainly seems cruel To tax her as a work of art Or possibly a jewel. ‘Tis better for the noblemen Whom obligations nettle To find a moneyed mald, and then To marry her, and settle. What? Shall a barring tarift fall On her who gives her boodle For building the ancestral hall And paying henchmen feudal? Must bankrupt duke or noble earl, Whose debts impoverish him, Give up some pretty Yankee girl Because the tax would dish bim? The tariff problem thus devised Is a pons asinorum— Shall she be taxed for what she buys, Or simply ad valorem? ‘True hearts are more than coronets, And faith serene and simple Than Norman blood, to him who gets Tho dollars with the dimple. But, pshaw! No subtle diplomat Has power of persuasion Or threat of beavy duties that WII stop the girls’ Invasion. —Chicago Tribune. MORE NEWSPAPER YARNS. “Here's a curious {tem, Joshua!" exclaimed Mrs. Lemington, spreading out the Billeville Afirror in her ample lap. “The Nellie E. Williams of Glou- cester reports that she saw two whales, a cow and a calf, floating off Cape Cod the day before yes- terday.”” “Well, ma,” replied old Mr. Lemington, “what's the matter with that?” “Why, It's all right about the two whales. Joshua; but what bothers me is how the cow and the calf got way out there."—Youth’s Companion, POOR GIRL. Miss Mary Malinda McVeagh, Who still had a sweet, girlish weagh, Wept rivers when she (At fifty and three) Found out that they called her passeagh! —New Orleans Times Democrat. BOOKS RECEIVED. Mary of Magdala. A drama in five acts, rendered irr English verse by Wiittam Winter from the German of Paul Heyse. (The Mucmilian Company. $1.25.) Catiban's Guide to Letters, By Uilatre Belloc. A sertes of satirical essays on modern methods. (F. P. Dutton ard Company. $1.25.) The Awakening of the Duchess, A story for childres, By Frances Charles. (Little, Brown wnd Company, Boston} A Girl and the Devil. A novel, by Jeannette Liewellsy Edwards, (The Broadway Publisilog Company.) Reflections of the Morning After. By Merman Le Meaier. (U1. M. Caldwell Company, Boston.) Insect Folk. An introduction to natare study for young children. (Glan aud Company, Boston.) Tithbat Titmouse. Belg a new editicn of Dr. Samaet Warren's Ten Thousand a Year abridged to a singe volume by Cyrus Townsend Brady, (Funk and Wagualis Company, $1.50.) The Crimson Fairy Dook, Another of Andrew Lang's excellent collections from many lands, Beautifully tilas trated tn color. (Longmans, Green aud Company. $1.01) The Hunting of the Snark, and Other Poems. By lewis Carroll, With illustrations by Peter Newell. (Harper and Brothers. $3.00.) The Laws and Principles of Bridge. (G. P, Putnam's Sons.) Half a Dozen Housekeepers. A story for gitls. By Kate Douglas Wiggin, (Henry Altemus Company, Philadelptia, Te.) The Limerick Up-to- Date Book. By Ethel Watts Mumford, (Paul Elder and Company, San Francisco, $1.00.) The Singing Leaves, A volume of poems. By Josephice Preston Peabody, (Houghton, Mimi and Company. $1.00) The Record of a Family. (G. P. Putnam's Sous.) Forms, By George Edward Woodberry. (The Mactnilias Company. $1.50.) The Life of a Wooden Dolt. Iilustrated by photograpts by Lewis Saxby. (Fox, Dameid and Company.) Rhymes of Reat Children, A veautifal child's Christmas book. By Betty Sage. (Fox, Dumeld and Company. $1.20) Sketches by Hazel Martyn. (A. C. McClurg and Company. Chicago.) The Cotond's Opera Cloak, By Christine C. Brush New edition. (Little, Brown and Company, Boston.) New Songs for Mate Quartets, (Hinds and Noble.) By Badswort, 1s for sale by all | ‘ewsdealers in Great Britain, The International News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, Aarnts, IF GENUINE Always the Same! WILSON WHISKEY. \qn That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CoO, Baltimore, Md. ‘THE NAME tS EVERYTHING” Esterbroo fas LOOK FOR THE NAME = NAME CARL SCHULTZ ALL MINERAL WATCRS ISA GUARAN cf) OF ABSOLUTE BURY ds f ARTIFICIAL, LIN VICHY, SELTERS, CARBONIC. The Standard for 40 Years 420-444rt bre LE, Te. 360 Madisoa. 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