Life — December 10, 1903 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EVE Reductio Ad Absurdum. (PuILADELPHIA.—At the meeting of the Cen- ral Labor Union Sunday [resident Leps was voted down on the proposition that a union man had the right to perform any necessary work at home, and that his wife could mend his torn clothing instead of sending it to a tailor.) He drew the blinds at the windows tight, So that no glimmer of telltale light Might find a way to the gloomy night. Tle plugged the keyhole in the door, And then tiptoed across the floor And took his hammer up once more. He but intended to drive a nail; He raised his arm—and his cheeks grew pale, And he knew concealment had no avail, For a knocking came From the hand of fate— The rap of the walking delegate! He took his razor from off the shelf— He would save moments, as well as pelf, By amputating his beard himself. But list! He scarce had wet the soap And with his beard began to cope, When something blasted all his hope. His palsied hand left the frothing brush, As a whoop came out of the solemn hush, And brought to bis shivering cheeks a blush: “You'll be fined for this, For it isn't straigh’ The call of the walking delegate. His wife asserted the time was ripe For renovating the old stovepipe. The perspiration he had to wipe Off of his brow, for well he knew That he had something fierce to do; It made him mad and made him blue. The stovepipe tangled around b's neck, The soot marked him with its stripe and fleck; Me fell, a cursing and writhing wreck! And there came a sneer: “There'll be trouble here”— The jeer of the walking delegate! He pins his trousers with shingle nails, Tlis coat is open to all the gales At missing buttons he often wails. Ilis wife, however, sits and smiles, And views the swiftly growing piles Of tattered garments, and beguiles Him with a murmur that’s meant to warn: “If I should ever attempt to darn Or stitch your clothing with thread or yarn, You know full well We would agitate The wrath of the walking delegate!” —Chicago Tribune. six, seven times seven.” Between times she shook the rabbit violently. “Dorothy,” said her mother, you doing to your rabbit?” “Well, papa says,” replied the child, “that rabbits multiply rapidly, and Bunnie won't do it." —Birmingham Post. The Way of the World. “WHEN we were poor,” remarked the prosperous man, reflectively, “we looked forward to the time when we could have a summer home.” “Well?” “Well, when we got rich enough to have one we didn't like going to the same place every summer, because it was monotonous, and we looked forward to the time when we could have another for variety.” “Well?” “Well, we got another, and then we be- gan to long for a winter place, so that we “what are A Sign wouldn't have to be so much in the big house LEVERTON: What makes you think jn the city.” you are falling in love with Miss “Well?” Dartsmith? “Well, we've got them all now.” Dasiaway: I call, the sofa we sit on grows longer longer. OROTHY was heard talking to her bit: “Five times five,’’ she said. I notice that every evening “Six times “And are you happy?” “I suppose so. At least, I suppose my wife is. She keeps them all shut up, and spends most of her time in Europe, but she knows she has them.” —Chicago Evening Post. and rab- with Fashion's latest demand. to her figure. THE PANSY CORSET HIS high-grade French Corset is hand-made throughout, and only the very best of materials, including genuine whale- bone, are used in its manufacture. years it has been recognized as one of the most comfortable and stylish Corsets in the market, representing the best skill and workmanship that can be secured. The new models (one of which is illustrated herewith) are made after the newest ideas in French Corsets, and conform in every way The very large variety of models which we carry enables us to fit almost any figure as satisfactorily as though the Corset had been made to measure, and expert fitters are always in attendance to insuie to each customer, not only a perfect fit, but a Corset adapted For over twenty-five Prices range from $5.00 to $28.00 Booklet showing all the new models mailed free on request JAMES McCUTCHEON & CO. FOURTEEN WEST TWENTY-THIRD STREET, NEW YORK STRAIGHT- FRONT MODEL, BF.X, Made tn Contille. Ratiste and Bro: caded Silk, elther 1m colors of tn all white. In all ei from is tore inch Prices—Piai Coatlife, ‘ize: Fancy, Coutille, teeta oi tiete, comicbooks.com