Life — March 12, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Western State, whose laws provide for a x in suits before justices of the peace, a as elected to that high and honorable of- old gentleman was naturally smart, and, perous, Was something of an oracle in but law was a thing he knew as most of his predecessors and suc- J. P. genus. his first case came on he Ustened with © attention to the evidence, but with terest to the arguments of counsel for both plaints! and defen w ° arguments were closed he appeared very |) at ease, and not until reminded that it was bis duy to charge the jury did he offer any sug- gestion touching the case in hand, But he came up to the situation that confronted him like a man and @ judge . ens of der tschury." he sald, “as dis Ist mein first oxberience in tschargin’ a tschury, I hartly knows vat do say do you. But as ect Ist mein tuty to tscharge you somedings I vill do der pest sat T knows bow. fof you peleeves all vat der lawyer for der t bat said, den I tscharge you dot eet Is to find your ferdict for de blaintiff, und do Ox- ch you blair asses s tamages as you dink righdt, not eet huntret tollars und der cosdts, v must sod vorged. Liat eef, on der odder hant, you peleeves all at tefendant’s lawyer haf saldt, den cet ees ty to M for der tefendant. In dot case 1 tschust do id, und say nodings apoud it, pling der costs, vich you moost nod vorged. tschendlemens, !f on der odder hant, uu me apout dis maddter, unt dondt peleeve vort vat ¢ f cem haf saidt, den I ow vot in der hell you are goin’ ter to."— Not long ago a lady was choosing a winter bat. with the usual uncertainty of mind as to the kind of hat she wanted, or whether, indeed, she wanted a hi at all. After trying on nearly every model in the shop she pounced with glee en one she had overluoked. “Here's som pretty he said; “why did you not show me this before?" Without waiting for an answer, she anpealed to her patient friend. “There's some style about this, isn’t there? How do I look?" The friend distinctly sniffed. "It makes you lock a hundred, and it's very dowdy,” he sald. The other tried the hat at another angle. “It ig rather dowdy,” she admitted at this juncture; “perhaps I won't risk it after all." A voice from behind her made its third attempt to gain a hear- ing. “If you've quite done with my hat,” it said, very bitterly, “I should rather like to put it on."— Argonaut. Ir 18 told of the late Senator Matt Carpenter that one day while chatting with friends in a com- mittee room the conversation turned on the relative merits of religious sect arly every member of the party belonged to some church and there had been an animated discussion, Senator Carpenter pacing up and down, listening intently h, but saying not a word, “What church do you asked one. don’t belong to any. Why don't you Jo “I don't want to. N. “What one would you forced to a choice?” “The Catholic, by all means.” ‘And why the Catholic?” “Because they have a purgatory, and that's a belong to, Carpenter?” ¢ exactly suits my views.” Join, If you were to feel AS A sergeant was bawlin; Dublin an new recruits ende command, he found to pair of feet, more not extra large size, never turned. wi taking his eyes off those fect, the ser- geant bawled out a second order: “About ig He could see that all the feet except those he watched turned In obedience. Rushing up to the owner, a little fellow, be seized him by the shoul- der, shoutin ‘Why don’t you turn with the rest?” I did!" replied the trembling recruit. “You did, ch? Well, I watched your feet and they never moved.” “It's the boots they gave me, sir," said the poor fellow, “They're so large that when I turn my feet turns inside of them.”—Dublin News, out his orders in a watching the lne of feet vored to obey the word of his astonishment that one able on account of their barracks PLaywnicnt: That villain in my play doesn't act bis part up to the lines, Hoe must wear a look of worry and desperation. MANAGER: Ob! don’t get excited. [I fix that John, go up on the stage and start a rumor that I have skipped with the box-office receipts—Balti- more News. Mrs, Nextpoon: Your daughter has improved wonderfully in her plano playing. Homrn: I'm glad to hear you say so—if you are really sincere. “Why, what do you mean?” “Well, you see, we didn't know whether she was improving or whether we were merely getting used motion for a new trial."—The Omaha Bee. to it."—Chicago Daily News, An Excellent Opportunity For Conservative Investors FOR DISPOSAL—A LIMITED NUMBER OF SHARES oF THE SAN TOY MINING COMPANY In the famous Santa Eulalia District MEXICO xteen miles from the City of Chihuahua, Railroad leading direct- to the dumps. Thoroughly cquipped with the latest improved machinery, Electric drills, electric lighting, etc. Already mining ind shipping one hundred tons per day of Bighograde lead fluxing orc, rich in silver, which commands a premium. Leading properties vady controlled by the Company, Bustillos, down 900 feet in body Of ore 850 feet wide; Galdiana-La Fortuna, down 700 feet ; I Trinidad, down 350 fect; Independencia, untouched. All silver and lead. Prestpent—SYLVESTER T. EVERETT, of Cleveland, O. Vice-Prestpent—JOSIAH QUINCY, of Boston, Sec'y anp Treas’r—A. S. WITHERBEE. For full particulars address S. WITHERBEE, Secretary Caro of MCINTYRE @ MARSHALL, Stock Brokers The Waldorf-Astoria - New York References Given and Required A. VIRGINIA HOT SPRINGS 500 Feet Elevation Magnificent Mountain Surroundings Open All the Year Reached by the Chesapeake & Ohio Railway INCOMPARABLE SPRING, SUMMER AND FALL CLIMATE Luxurious baths and most curative waters known for rheumatism, gout, obesity and nervous troubles, New golf club house with squash court, lounging rooms, café, ping pong, etc. Fine golf links, tennis courts, pleasure pool, excellent livery and all cutdoor pastimes. New Homestead and Cottages.—The hotel is a brick structure of the highest class, completed in September, 1G02, containing 4oo rooms and 200 private baths. Long distaace "phone in each room, Broker's office with direct New York wire, Pullman compartment car from New York via Washington and the Chesapeake and Ohio Railway. The F. F, V. Limited, leaving New York 4:55 P. M., arrives Hot Springs 7:25 Al M. Excursion ‘tickets at C. & O. offices, 362 Rroadway, New York, and oitices Pennsylvania R. R. and connecting ‘lines throughout the country, For hotel information, address FRED, STERRY, Manager, Hor Sprinos, Batu Co., Va. comicbooks.com