Life — December 4, 1902 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LITERARY BEQUEST, As on this earth I can’t fore’er In reason hope to stay, Like Carnegie, I will in time My library give away. I give my Burns unto the cook, My Howells to the dog; My Longfellow to Wall Street shorts, My Bacon to the hog. I'll give the Dickens to the man Who swore my vote would win; My Lamb I leave to bulls and bears, My Coke goes to the bin To miners I would send my Pitt; My Cable I'd unreel; To politicians I would give With perfect trust my Steele. My Whittier I do commend Unto newspaper Jokes ; My Holmes I think a proper one For all the married folks. My Ade to injured ones I lend. Though not Nye—more’s the pity! My Browning (tan) I leave with love Unto Atlantic City. All my Hall Caines I leave to dudes To match their wooden heads, And Chaucer to the law that on Expectoration treads. T SCISSORS AT Wy My Cooke I'd keep at any cost ‘Till all my meals were Dunn; Also my Harte, ‘less fate Mark Twain, Where I mark two as one. I leave my Bunyan to my Foote, (My Haggard face {t curls!) My Peck to all my little birds, My Lover to the girls. This disposition of my books My will holds like a rock; Lest thieves break in, I place on all A combination Loeke. —Baltimore American. PROLIFIC CYRUS TOWNSEND BRADY, A New York firm, which was preparing to start a new periodical a few weeks ago, wrote to Cyrus Townsend Brady as follows: “Dear Sir: We are starting a new magazine and would like to have something from your pen for the first number. May we hope to hear from you?” Two days later an express wagon backed up to the door of the New York firm's office. Mr. Brady had sent one historical novel containing 116,000 words; a love story of 97,000 wor seventeen short stories, ranging in length from 5,000 to 14.000 words; an epic poem in nine cantos, and three large boxes filled with poems, essays, anecdotes, and one play in three acts and eight scenes. Accompanying the consignment was a note from Mr. Brady, who ex- plained that he was unusually busy and bad og been able to devote much time to the new firm) order, but would be able to furnish another wages load of matter in a day or two if it was absolutely needed.—Chicago Record-Herald. Tur Yale men played a clever trick on Carrie Nation when she was there recently, She agrees to sit for her picture, holding a water pitcher i: her hand as an emblem of her belief. She was ée lighted with the idea, but found the pitcher too heavy. For this reason she substituted for it s glass of water. The students, standing just out ef range of her vision, told her to be sure to keep ber eyes fastened on the lens‘of the camera. As sb strained her eyes in that direction the studerts surreptitiously produced pipes, cigarettes and 2 whisky bottle. The resulting photograph is 1 curious one. In the center of the group stands Mrs. Nation, holding in her right hand a glass which, owing to the mysteries of the dark-room, capped with a crown of foam. Around her are the students, one drinking from a whisky bottle, as. other lighting a pipe, others smoking cigarettes and two apparently in the last stages of intoxics- tion, In another picture Mrs. Nation is laugbisg and the entire group suggests a bacchanalian reve! of the most strenuous kind.—Argonaut. “Up at Wellesley you can't call on a girl after nine-thirty “Gee! They must be a lot of curfew belles."— Harvard Lampoon. Lire ts for sale by all Newsdeatera in Great Britain The International News Company, Bream's Balding, Chancery Lane, London, E.C, England, AGENTS. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE NAME tS EVERYTHING.” Esterbrook on a pen fs, guarantee of an absolute its excellence Vertical admirably Ij Verticall Over rsofi INo. 556 is adapted for -LING CO.. stationers Accept no Dealers in HIGH GRADE INVESTMENT SECURITIES. Transact a Gen- “A Cennige Old Brandy mate from Wine.” —Medical Press (London), Aug., 1899, MARTELL’S THREE STAR Kerr & 60. BANKERS, WALL ST., N. Y. 32 La Salle Street, Chicago. CHESTER CREST, Philacelphi. raham, Kerr & Co. re Lerrens of Creprr terling, France, Ms Dollars, payable in all aot the world. eral Foreign and Domestic Banking Busi- ness. BRANDY ATALL BARS AND RESTAURANTS, VIOLETTES »CZAR North Fourth Ave., Mount Vernon, N.Y. A quiet resort with every comfort, for men nervously disordered through diseipa- tion, Communications strictly confidential. Address G, 8. Avery, Manager, ‘Telephone —445 A, Moant Vernon. CARL H. SCHULTZ Tel: 102 Madison 8q. 490446 First Ave Artificial Vichy, Kissingen, Selters, Ems Lith a Water, Lithia-Vichy, Lithia-Carlsted, Marienbad, Pullna, Bilin, Double and Quad ruple Carisbad, Carbonic, Club Soda, are also put up in bottles for outof:town delivery. THE EVER FASHIONABLE PERFUME OF ORIZA-L. LEGRAND (Grand Prix Paris 1900) comicbooks.com