Life — October 9, 1902 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE- 305 problem how far we are physical ; perhaps, after all, life is AN ANXIOUS MOMENT. “1 WANT MY WATCH FIXED. “1 18 GoINo Now, IT WAS STOPPED Twice.” BETTER WAIT TILL IT HAPPENS AGAIN.” ‘T WHAT IP IT SHOULDN'T STOP AGAIN?” Life’s Race. Ort who in life's race may run For the wide goal of death, One gains an olive wreath, and one, A little loss of breath. PS. Haw. A Psychological Novel.* “TT seems to me,” exclaimed the duck with that emotional ex- aggeration which he had inherited from his great-aunt on the left-hand side of his family, For some time he stood on the edge of the pond engaged in struggle with his highly developed conscience. Precisely what constitutes morbidity of conscience bafiles the psychologist to determine; probably it arises from a too delicate sensitiveness, or from eating raw worms. After some hesitation he took a step forward with one of those gestures which the observer observes in the laboratory of life. Highly significant such gestures are. If one could trace them back to the mind, one would find anew science—the science of gesticu- lology. I do not say that the gesture was awkward, for it was distinctly appro- priate to the duck—it had the beauty of complete duckdom. Had a horse made the gesture, the novelist would be compelled to recognize it as one of the ugly details in an inscrutable world. But the gesture belonged to the duck ; it was his birthright. Let ie say, however, to those who demand a novelist to hurry his charac- ters into unexplained action, that the duck was not conscious of the gesture. His mind was full of more momentous considerations. For some time he had had a desire to plunge into the pond. But he had chastened and rebuked his desires, not because they were wrong, but because they were interesting. Had he given way to them, they would have been converted into action and so placed outside the province of the true novelist. But for all his determination not to do the natural thing, the duck was susceptible to what, for want of a better term, we call the weather. It isa *Don't read this unless you like this sort of thing.— The Editor. fundamentally biological. To put it in epigram, we may be more harassed by a flea than by an idea. It was so with the duck, The sun was intensely meridional. The process which was working out in one of the lobes of the duck’s brain, or of his ear, I dare not say which, came inexplicably to an end, With bewildering precipitation he waddled into the water, causing such ripples as are characteristic of normal ponds. He had made the sacrifice of thought to action. After that life meant to him something pathetically different. J. A, Macy. Richesse Oblige. No did these fortunate persons seek to evade the cesponsibili- ties which wealth brings. No sooner had it transpired that the evil of the times was the sweat- shop, than ten trillionaires united in giving a million each for the founda- tion of laboratories, where should be conducted, regardless of expense, ex- periments looking to the production ofa serum or other convenient agency for the suppression of sensible per- spiration. It was a noble charity, and a char- ity, mark you, impossible except as great fortunes were possible. F, as scientists aver, the people of Mars have lived a million years longer than we have, of course they are much further advanced. One is made quite giddy with the thought of how much their society women probably spend in entertaining, or how much seatsin their stock exchanges sell for. THE FALLACY OF FAITH. A WONDROUS FAITH WEALER ONE DAT MAD TO KEEP ALL M19 PATIENTS AT BAT, WHILE ME HID IN WIS BOOTIE WITH A RIOTOUS TOOTH, ‘WHICH M18 FAITH COULDN'T STOP, STRANGE TO BAY, comicbooks.com