Life, 1902-10-02 · page 9 of 22
Life — October 2, 1902 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon - "A Pilgrim's Progress: An Autumn Fantasy"** This allegorical illustration depicts education as a dangerous journey. A small figure (student/pilgrim) faces demons guarding large boulders labeled with school subjects: "Arithmetic," "Writing," "Spelling," "Reading," "Grammar," and "History." The winged demons represent obstacles in education. This satirizes the perceived harshness of 19th-century schooling methods, suggesting that basic subjects were presented to children as formidable, frightening challenges rather than accessible knowledge. **Text Content** The remaining prose and verse pieces—"Unmade History," "A Timid Soul," and "The Righteous Citizen"—are unrelated satirical sketches critiquing historical progress, timid personalities, and moral hypocrisy. The humor relies on irony and social commentary rather than visual gags.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Unmade History. ROM the twentieth century for- ward, theart of warmade rapid progress, until at last the muni- tions of defense were quite im- pregnable, and the weapons of assault absolutely irresistible. The situation was extremely critical, hereupon, for the Monroe doctrine was extant and there were still several nations small enough to have the bless- ings of liberty extended to them. But just as the people were becom- ing excited and betting freely, the millennium arrived, making an end of war. There was some dissatisfaction at the time, and the Republican vote showed a falling off that year, but later ages unite in the opinion that there was really no other way out of it. DITOR: Can we trust that re- + porter? Assistant : Oh, he’s true blue. ‘* You mean true yellow.” A PILGRIM'S PROGRESS, AN AUTUMN Fantasy. A Timid Soul. LOVE to watch the golden sun of morn Ascend the rosy ladder of the sky ; I love to hear the waking winds of dawn Go whisp'ring by. I love the early stirring of the woods, When song-birds call— But ah! I love a snug and drowsy bed The best of all! I love to breast the ocean's stormy wave, When howls the wind and Jurid gleams the sky ; Alert and strong I face an ocean grave— Content to die. Calmly I watch my bark succumb at last To tempest’s strife— I love it all—in poetry, but not In real life! When cannons roar and soldiers bow to Death, I fain would face the foe on fiery field ; Outnumbered, wounded, faint—courageous still, I ne'er would yield! The joys of battle make my pulses thrill “IN TRE PALL THE FARMER'S PANCY LIONTLY TURNS TO GOOD MARD ciDER,” In song and book’; But ah, alas! in real life I can’t Discharge the cook ! ENVOL. Let poets wreck their health by early strolls; Let warriors gird themselves with thirsty swords ; Let mariners bob cheerfully around On sinking boards ! Such actions, from this rosy world will them Untimely whisk ; Insurauce rates are low for me—I am ‘The better risk! Carol Schetky Turcey. The Righteous Citizen. ONCE upon a time a Righteous Citizen witnessed a Combat be- tween a Big Man and a Small Boy. The Big Man laid about him mightily and smote the Small Boy hip and thigh, who upon the Tip of his Toes could not reach the Big Man’s waist- band, **Hold,’”’ cried the Righteous Citi- zen, as the Big Man proceeded to sit down upon the Small Boy. ‘It is not a Fair Fight! The Small Boy is hit- ting the Big Man below the Belt !’” Memnon. N ODD: Your baby ad months old yet, is he? Topp: Oh, yes. To be exact, Ihave been awake now just ninety-six nights. isn’t three comicbooks.com