Life — July 17, 1902 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ue 18 THE CHAMPION OF OUR AUTOMOBILE CLUB.” year “YES, WE HAS KILLED MORE PEOPLE WITHOUT GETTING IIS NAME IN TUE PAPERS THAN ANY OTHER MEMBER” Life’s Dictionary of Interna- tional Biography. THEODORE ROOSEVELT, PROMINENT hill climber hunter, at onc time Pre: and bear nt of the United States, unmaker of generals and all- around sport. The youth of every great man is a predisposing element of much importance in the determination of his career, and our strenuous hero is noexception, As a lad he was attacked successfully by whooping cough, measles, scarlet fever, mumps and Harvard College, and recovered from all complaints except the last. Acute Harvarditis is usually fatal. Many die, but few get over it. After leaving college, young Theodore went to Providence, where he founded the first trust, and then plunged westward into the heart of the cowboy precinct, and learned how to use a six-shooter and a steel pen, Becoming tired, however, of the close. hot, fetid air of the plains, he came on where he could breathe the pure, musk-laden, God- given atmosphere of Tammany Hall, and let himself out as apprentice toa man named Papa Platt, at that time, and until recently, the leader of the famous Alb: orchestra. Our hero, putting on an antiseptic rubber suit, then plunged into New York City politics, and between Seylla Croker and Charybdis Parkhurst, eseaped being a reformer, although receiving occasional advice from John Brisben Walker. About this time a syndicate was formed to make the United States over into an Empire and incidentally open up a kinder- garten water-cure establishment in the Philippines. After supreme efforts, Theodore Roose- velt, in spite of the War Department, succeeded in annexing Cuba to the United States Senate. The rest is a historical novel, To-day our tlag floats over nearly three loons as when ‘The undertake ing industry has never been so prosperous, times as many Philippine s Spain preached the gospel. and life is one grand, sweet meat trust, cnd. all these things in spite of our President, Some men are born with backbones, some achieve them, aud 8 have theirs forced upon them. Theodore Roosevelt, in this respect, is not a third-class man. Every day he may be seen out in the back yard of the Capitol trying to keep the elephant down to his oats, If he doesn't always succeed it isn’t due to his lack of spine. Some elephants are hard to manage, Favorite occupations: Riding grizzly bears and pot-house politicians, rn aloud from his own works, entert princes and colored men, placating pension- ers, and striving not to please the W.C.T.U, Principal: works In the Sweet By and By,” ‘A Cure for the Water Cure,” “The Helmet of the G. A. R.,” ‘ What's the Matter with Hanna?”, eto. comicbooks.com