Life — June 5, 1902 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fabulous Fables. IN THE LAND OF THE OUGHT-TO-BE, TPPHIS happened on Pussy Avenue, Catland. Catland is a beautiful country, peopled by cats—Persian and Maltese, Manx and tiger—every kind of a cat that you can think of was there, and all living in good style, in brownstone fronts. Mrs. Spitz and Mrs. Purr-Purr met and passed the time of day. “When are you going away for the sum- mer?” said Mrs. Purr-Purr. “In a week,” said Mrs. Spitz. “By the way, what are you going to do with your pet man?” “Leave him to shift for himself, of course. 1 can't be bothered with animals when I have so much else to attend to, I'll drive him out of the cellar and let him loose on the world. It owes him a living anyway. You have a pet woman, haven't you?” “Yes,"’ said Mrs. Spitz, “and I presume I shall do the same thing by her. She came to my house unsolicited, anyway, and I can’t be bothered looking after her. Well, I'll meet you at the Pussywillow Ocean House.” ‘The poor pet man and the forlorn pet woman, who had hitherto sat by the fireside and blinked and had their three square meals a day, now had to roam the back fences and live on garbage—when they could get it, but as nearly everyone was away, even this wasn’t easy. Daily their condition grew worse. They were jeered at by all the kittens in the neigh- borhood, who from their nursery windows ate their porridge unceasingly, while the old bachelor cats threw bootjacks and torpedoes at them nightly. And then, in the fall, wasted to skeletons, bare in spots where the hardest knocks had come, wretched, starving, they crept unrecog- nized back to the houses that had once known them, as Mrs. Purr-Purr and Mrs. Spitz, radi- ant from their summer vacations, came up their respective steps. “Get out of here!” exclaimed Mrs. Purr- Purr. ‘‘ How I hate those stray men!" “Go ay 1” cried Mrs. Spitz. ‘Scat! What a horrid woman!” MORAL. This would seem to imply that cats have no feelings, but it’s only a fable, you know. Tom Masson, Her System. Mrs. Wise seems to understand how to manage her husband pretty well. E: Sue: Yes, She lets him have her own way in everything. THE Devil never goes out on strike. “YOUNG DE WEAKLINO I8 AUCH A DELICATE-LOOKING FELLOW TO BE PLAYING GOLF!" “YE, BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, UE ONLY UaEs *PING-roNG’ Batis |” A June Song. ND it's Oh, for the month of June When the world swings close to the moon, And a man and a maiden fleet To the goal where the pathways meet Down the road of the Heart's desire Where never a one may tire Till band hath been closed in hand On the highway of Happy Land. And it’s Oh, for the month of June That is timed to an organ tune, ‘When the blush of the rose’s grace Is caught from the young bride's face. When the world is a golden thing Clasped round in a wedding ring And a man and a maiden stand On the highway of Happy Land. Theodosia Garrison. comicbooks.com