Life — May 1, 1902 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHAT HOME Is WITHOUT A MoTUET. The Qualities That Count. T would be a joke on the brigands if a Major Pond were to make more out of Miss Stone's abduction than they have made. And yet, why not? The day is past when mere brute force stands much of any show to win out against brass and advertising, and the sooner these Macedonians get to understand it, the better for them, unless, of course, they are brigands for art's sake, and care nothing for the material reward. THE CHARMING YOUNG HOURT IN A CIRCUS THAT SHOWED IN MO. _WAS A RATHER BOLD DANCE BY AN HO] | SHE WAS HALED INTO COURT, AND OBLIGED TO CAVORT FOR THE LAWYER, THE JUDGE ANDA JO. Harold and His Pa. “ Pp» what is a coronation?” « Why, it’s what they do when the king is crowned.” “Does it hurt any—that is, is it anything like an operation?” “Why, yes, my son, only it isn’t called by that name. It might be called a function.” ‘« What is a function like?’ “A function is almost any proceeding that costs money and is useless.’’ ‘But what do they do at the coronation — do they pat the crown on the king’s head?” “ Yes, for a while.” ‘* He doesn’t wear it all the time, then?” “Oh, no, He might get tired if he did.” “ Well, now, tell me just what happens." “Well, a short, fat man—"’ “That's the king.” “Yes, that’s the king. bishop—” ‘*Is he short and fat?”" “ Well, he's pretty apt to be. that way.” “What makes them so?” “Oh, they are pretty well fed, you know. Well, the archbishop puts the crown on the king’s head, and then a lot of men in bath robes bow down, and other short fat men kiss the king’s hand.”” “T shouldn’t think they'd like todo that. I wouldn’t care to do that to any short, fat man.”” “That's only because you are a boy, Harold. When you get to be a big man, you would fall all over yourself to do that very thing.” “Would you, pa?” “Well, you know I’m not an aristocrat."” “But tell me, are there no ladies present? ’’ “Oh, yes. Heaps.” “And how do they look?’’ “Fine. They are loaded down with jewels, and their shoulders gleam.”” “Is it nice, pa, to have your shoulders gleam?” “Oh, yes, if there’s any one to look at them.” “How abont the king, pa? He's a great man, isn't he? What is he like?’ «Well, he eats and sleeps, breathes, and smokes cigarettes, and in general he’s a pretty fair, average fellow.” “But that’s no different from any other man.” “No, nor from most kings.”” “Pa, suppose there wasn’t any coronation—would it make any difference?” “Oh, my, yes!"" “ But why?” “ Because, my son, it would disappoint so many people who don’t amount to anything.” He comes in, and an arch- They are all likely to be comicbooks.com