Life — December 19, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

532 Life’s Anecdote Contest. £9-Many contributions to this contest have been Fejected, because they did not comply with the conditions, which will be found in ouradvertising pages, It should be borne in mind by contestants that anecdotes already familiar to the reading Public are not desirable. ‘The more humor there ta in each anecdote the more likely tt will be to have # place in thts department. Nomper 1. FP ARLETON could not bear to hear his enemy praised. When some ladies in Charleston were eulogizing Colonel Wash- ington, he replied, with a scornful would be very glad to get a sight of C ¥ heard much talk of hi yet seen him.” * Had you looked behind you, at the battle of Cowpens,” rejoined one of the ladies, you might easily have enjoyed that ple: Anecdotes.” From ** Peres Harper and Brothers, 1859, Number! Of William and John Scott, afterwards Lord Stowell and Lord Eldon, Lord John Russell used to tell with infinite zest a story which he declared to be highly el tic of the methods by which they their fortunes and position, When they were young men at the Bar, having had stroke of professional luck, they determined to celebrate the occasion by having a dinner ata tavern and going to the play. When it time to call for the reckoning William t dropped a guinea. He and his brother searched for it in vain, and came to the con- clusion that it had fallen between the boards of the uncarpeted floor. “ This is a bad job,” said M illiam must give up the p op a dit,” said John; “I know a trick worth two of that, cane called the “we found the one guin under the fender. . Which had rolled “That's a very good girl, Betty,” said John Scott, pocketing the coin, “and when you find the other you can keep it for your trouble.” And the prudent brothers went with a light heart to the play and so eventually to the Bench and the Woolsack. From “Collections and Recollections.” Harper and Brothers, 1898, Nunmer 3, It is told that in the Sunday-sehool which she faithfully taught during the years that she remained in the old church, she was LIFE asked by one of the little y" re is Hi people, “ Mrs. She put on ined silent for a moment, then, in an impressive tone, with long pauses between, answered, “It is neither before you—nor behind you—nor above you Jer your feet.” Then, with a hter tone, she said, her head in his direction, * Par- Hiams can tell you the ezact spot.” un, wl her most solemn aspect, rem From “ Recollections of My Mother.” By Susan I. Lesle; Pri y . HI. Ellis, 1889. Number 4. The Government contemplating the despatch of an expedition to Burma, with a view to taking Rangoon, and a question uld be the fittest general to be sent in command of the expedition. Th binet sent for the Duke of Welling- ton and asked his adv! Ife instantly re- plied, ‘Send Lord Combermer “But we have always understood that your Grace thought Lord Combermere a fool.” “So he is a fool, od a dan he can take Rangos From ‘* Coll s Marper arose as to who w ned fool, but Recollections.” nd Brothers, 198, Nemper 5. Atdinner at Balliol the Master's guests were discussing the carcers of two Balliol men, cne of whom had just been made a judge and the other a bishop. “Ob,” said Henry Smith, {think the bishop is the at the most, only say, *Y ed,” but a bishop ly twittered the but if the judge says, * You be hanged,’ you are hanged.” From ‘Collections and Recollections.” Harper and Brothers, 1898, can Gentlemen. 7 OU don't know how to make love!” sneered the Gentleman of the Old School. “No,” laughed the Gen- tleman of the New School, “TI leave all that to the women! I have need only to make money !”” ‘ ‘I WONDER why they haven't started any yel- low journals in Cuba yet?” “I don’t believe there are enough Americans there to support one.”” NM R. MORRIS BAGBY’S morn- ~ ing musicales have become an important feature of New York's win- ter season. Mr. Bagby, being an artist himself, knows how to arrange an in- teresting programme. And as ho always seems to have his pocket full of stars, he produces two or three at each musicale, thus making each occa- sion noteworthy. Triumphant critics have pointed out the defects of the amazing little genius who recently made his début at Car- negie Hall before a wildly enthusiastic andience. Herr Kubelik is without pose or affectation, and his quiet, dig- nified manner adds charm to his mar- velous playing. Thestorms of applauso which greeted him were not always in the right place, but the audience was, on the whole, musically intelligent. It is evident that this young artist is to have a brilliant career. Even fashion and hysterical females cannot blight genius such as his, The Boer Tobacco Fund. THE captive Boers in Bermuda will receive in a day or two forty-five more, making a total of seventy pounds of smoking tobacco—seemingly a largo amount, but it ehould be remembered that there are five thousand of them. The following are the contributions re- ceived up to the date of going to press : Previously acknowledged Fluabing... A cunistwas Box.