Life — December 5, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

494 asked her the same question, with the same answer. So it was every day. Duty did not care for his horses, dogs and hunting. She spent her day in looking through the wonder- ful house. ‘There was a large library, where she improved her mind, and off of that was alittle room full of check-books, with checks drawn for any amount. She amused her- self for days sending these to worthy objects. In the next room was broth, always hot, and flannels for the poor. These she distributed to the deserving in the neighborhood, with questions about their husbands’ habits and advice on bringing up their children. At last the Dunce suggested that she should go home for a week. She agreed at once, but asked that her mail might be for- warded. She found her fam’ and read them all the bushels of requests she received to join the Board of Lad: gers of every imaginable philanthropy. last she told her father that if she married the Dunce she would be a great Power for Good, and she had decided to do so. Her i ghted, and at the end of the she went b: to the Dunce, with her father to give her away, and her pretty sister It was to be a large church ations from all her executive committees. As they drove up, they found the Dunce in the stable yard with his chair tilted against the wall, a whiskey-and-soda beside him, and a family of bull pups at his feet. While the pretty sister sprang over the wheel and gathered up an armful of puppies, Duty went upto the Dunce and said : “ Dear Dunce, | am sorry to see how you have changed while I have been away. I have decided to marry you and then we will see what can be done.” Thanks, awfully, Duty,” said the Dunce, rising. ‘It's awfully good of you, by Jove, but you know I'm not sure that anything can be done with me, really, and [think I like your sister's style the best, you know. I'll just telephone the Dominie and we'll have it done right here; awfully jolly, you know Duty had not time to express herself before the ceremon: over and the happy couple had started South for the polo. The beaming bride left an unlimited bank ac- count for her father, and cnough for Duty, with her energy, to keep herself on most of the E ls of Managers, and she took her Dunce into & set where nobody noticed the difference. So they all lived happy ever after. Katherine L, Mead. B* manners, when unintentional, - are vulgar, “They found the Dance in tne stable yard.” The Raglan Coat. V HEN people wrote upon the rocks, In Nature's rude environment, Before they learned the use of locks, Or even knew what iron meant, In age we call the pliocene— Or was it known as miocene?— A million years remote, Some monkey-man arboreal Conceived the weird sartorial Design we call a Raglan coat. Before the sky was rounded out, When earth was in the plastic stage— It was, beyond a single doubt, A very loose, elastic ag Some husky old pre-Adamite, Who ne'er of pity had a mite, That ever he might gloat O'er all his fellows foolishly Sat down to think, and ghoulishly Designed for them the Raglan coat. They wore it inthe days of Rome. Old Cassius, who aflected it, So stingy was he drank the foam, Nor ever once neglected it. Whe Brutus stabbed that friend of his, ‘To serve a selfish end of his, And seized him by the throat, The savage, gleaming knife he used, Which, taking Cesar's life, he used, He carried in his Raglan coat. In all the ages—ever since We heard the very first of it— Its wicked deeds have made us wince, And we got the worst of it. When Nero burned his city down, And sent a rattling ditty down From where he sat to gloat, His inspiration fie He set down in his diary— His wife had bought a Raglan coat. Willie Leonard Clanahan. FE: Hise pleasure to meet a wom- an who has a sense of humor. Sue: But really, one doesn’t need a sense of humor to laugh at the things. you say. comicbooks.com