Life — November 14, 1901 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

394 one that was just high enough from the ground so that if it caught any one, the victim couldn't ese: Q.: And A.: Itis. The Board then went into sceret session, and, after some g of testimony, the fol- lowing findings were announced : 1. That H. H. Vrecland, President of the Metropolitan Street Railway Company, is hereby exonerated from the stigma of ever having ridden on a Broadway car. 2. That the testimony that bronchitis, laryngitis, pneumonia and other diseases are constantly contracted on Broadway open cars be stricken out; as, should it be brought to Mr. Vreeland’s atten- tion, he might order still more open cars put on. . That a statue of Mr. Vreeland be im- mediately erected and put up over Hell Gate. 's the only time you know of ? FL ICKORY, dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock ” Of the stocking, and then He ran down again When he found it was only a sock. T. B.S. An Apt Pupil. V HEN the A.’s went to California they rented a small furnished house and engaged a Chinese man of all work. The house was well situated and tastefully furnished, and Wing Lee proved to be a good cook, clean and respectful. As soon as the A.’s were settled the neighbors began to call, and it was then that the fact was discovered that Wing was absolutely devoid of any ideas as to the ushering in or out of guests. So one morning the ladies de- termined to instruct him. Providing him with a tray, } A. went out, rang the bell, was shown into the parlor, and fa . Prodigal Calf; mornen, t wave RETURNED. wuat's THR MATTER WITH KMLLING THE PATTED #0N PoR ME? waited while the calm celestial car- ried her card to Mrs, A. This per- formance was repeated several times until the ladies were quite satisfied that Wing was perfect in his réle. That evening at half past eight the bell rang. Wing scuffled majestic- ally to the door, while mother and daughter hung breathlessly over the banisters to watch the result of their teaching. They heard a gentleman's voice ask if the ladies were at home. They saw Wing present his tray and re- ceive a card with an air which made them mentally pat each other on the back, and then they saw him draw a card from his sleeve (‘* Mine,” gasped Miss A., ‘the one we used for the lesson’’), compare the two carefully, and returning his to the astonished guest, with a bland “‘Tickee no good, can't come in,” calmly shut the door in his face. B EAUTY is the capital of a maid; - capital, the beauty of a man. comicbooks.com